THE RBS GLITCH: Hester’s Hijackers go from the ridiculous to the incredible.

My jawslog@gmail.com inbox is packed to the brim with stories of RBS and Natwest ‘glitches’ ranging from brazen theft via postdated restoration cheques and crazy delays on payments, all the way through to standing orders not being honoured….and now the latest, things being debited twice.

Thus RBS admitted last night that loan payments on credit taken out by RBS customers had been removed twice ‘in a large number of cases’. Earlier, the Group had said the problem was ‘small’ and ‘duplicate mortgage payments have not been taken during Natwest’s IT meltdown’. But some Slog readers dispute this.

As Gullibles everywhere know and accept, this was all caused by one Indian engineer. How bizarre, though, that every last mistake is in RBS/Natwest’s favour. What, one wonders, are the chances of that happening by accident?

Small and medium sized businesses seem to have been particularly targeted. A regular Slogger exporting to the eurozone has described to me in detail how his last need to wire some money to suppliers abroad (£30,000 in total) was met with a blank look and the entirely new information that such transfers were now restricted to £300. The SME customer is five years from start-up and doing well, with only a small overdraft facility and a history of being in the black. Only forcibly argued small points such as “This is our money, so don’t tell us we can’t transfer it” made Natwest grudgingly go through with the transaction. So things are now moving on from ‘we don’t want to lend to you’ to ‘we will do what we like with your money now f**k off’.

Some of you may also have spotted that, at the outset of this “a little Indian did it and then ran away” bollocks, the problem was allegedly contained  within NatWest. Initial Slog research over a week ago disproved that one, and now – assuming in the 24/7 news asylum that most people have forgotten – Hester’s Hijackers are brazenly showing with every new announcement that it applies right across the Group. This makes our Indian scapegoat a chap who clearly has a bike: he wiped a load of NatWest files by mistake, and now the wiping of those files means double helpings for the RBS side of the bank, and slow payments to Ulster customers.

Still, it’s good to see one British export sector booming: another Slogger noted last night that the Santander online banking and money access  systems are all down. This was then confirmed by others flooding my inbox yet again – with the dreaded ‘technical glitch’ getting the blame. The nationality of Senor Glitch is unknown thus far, but Money-Saving Expert notes this morning that ‘the system is back up although very sluggish’. Funny how the problem is never, ever one of money going out too quickly.