TORIES IN THE PINK, LABOUR IN THE RED, BLUE COLLARS IN THE CABINET, BBC IN THE MIRE

BBCpaintnetAnd with one mighty bound, Newscorp breaks free

Now that Ed’s gone darn Eebeefa for some Ecstasy action, things are beginning to take shape in the hit-the-ground-running corporatocracy being created by Camerlot II – No Brakes.

The BBC is in for another bashing: Cameron last night slammed the Corporation for its “unforgivable Labour bias and inaccuracy”, an amusing observation given that its exit poll was the only accurate one, and it favoured the Conservatives. But heh – this is instinct politics: the Big Lie overwhelms the Small Brain.

Shapps has been demoted to a job handling overseas aid, so it shouldn’t be hard for the media to set up a honey trap, and catch him flogging Samoa on the internet under the pen name Sven Garli. The only MP I contacted – a minor Tory – observed that Osborne felt Grant needed “a profile lower than a limbo dancer”. You have to agree, although the profile I’d like him to have is Prisoner 447099823 Dartmoor Cell 107 (shared).

Gove becomes Minister for Justice, somewhat akin to making Josef Goebbels secretary of State for Cultural Harmony. Grayling leaves that job (always tough for a fish to make the leap required there) and becomes Minister for Constitutional Reform. Sort of tying up a few loose ends like freedom of speech, the multi-Party system, death penalty for pacifist resistance and so forth. I understand there’s to be a fire in the Palace of Westminster, where a confused Harriet Harman will be found waving a petrol-soaked rag around – while yelling, “Come and get me misogynist oppressors!”.

But the real spin here – and don’t ignore it, because it is fiendishly clever – is the rise and rise of the blue collar ethnic minorities in the so-called Tory ‘Workers’ Party’. Isn’t that cute – blue collar ethnic workers, inclusiveness et al? Already working on 2020 slogans, Michael Fallon suggested “Strength Through Joy” yesterday. It wouldn’t surprise me. After ‘Yes we can’ and ‘A better plan’ any old drivel will do.

The one ‘blue collar’ person in that mix to keep a beady eye on, however, is Mr Sajid Javid. The Slog has posted about this chappy before, and although I managed to misspell his name throughout, the conclusions are I think fair: the bloke’s a sort of much brighter Grant Shapps. Javid is made Business Secretary: he is anti all regulation, and so perfect fare for the sociopaths. And in reality, he’s NOT Blue Collar. More kind of Red Neck.

Meanwhile in the wilderness, Labour of Nazareth is wandering about for the first part of Forty Days and Forty Nights, orientation supplied by acting leader Hattie Harmaman. In this demanding role, the sort of acting performance required is one of steady as she goes, and most Labour supporters will be happy when, after a short run, she does go….thence to leave the stage forever. Perhaps for a new career teaching maths.

More seriously, there is one development which presents a glimmer of hope: Jon Cruddas has resigned from the Shadow Cabinet to start an independent review into future Labour policy. This from the Indie:

‘Mr Cruddas is a philosopher by profession and is associated with the party’s communitarian left wing. He is usually regarded as a radical.’

Communitarian is good, radical is good, shame about the Left tag. Mutualist might be a good addition. He’s an interesting man: let’s see what he has to say. That plus Tom Watson as Deputy Leader could mean one of two things: broader horizons, or lurch back to Pure Socialist Left. The decision should be obvious, but rest assured it won’t be.

The garden beckons; more later.

Yesterday at The Slog: History didn’t need votes to get reform