Britain needs a Minister for Hunger, say MPs. The UK Christmas retail sales were the worst since 2009. Exports of cars to China have slumped by 37% – and as a result, Jaguar LandRover has cut 5,000 jobs. A week ago, the Eurozone Central Bank stepped in to take over at the dying Italian bank Cariga. Its board directors resigned as the bank’s value sank to almost nothing.

In this context, it will seem odd to many that the House of Commons is still debating a deal to leave the EU two and a half years after a Referendum voted to, er, leave the EU. It will seem even odder that the Government’s main concern is lorry queues at Calais, when the Mayor of Calais says he has no such concerns because the entry procedure changes following a No Deal Brexit will be minimal.

It will also seem odd that the reasons why there are panic preparations (and only nine weeks to B-Day) is that 70% or so of MPs refuse the accept the People’s decision, that an unelected Whitehall opposes it to the last wimp, that unelected old Blairite & Tory warhorses are doing everything in their power to undermine it, and a Remainer-led British Government is negotiating to leave by accepting Deal clauses that mean we are staying really.

But it goes from odd to surreal when you consider that Lab/Tory MPs who promised to “respect the People’s vote” are now heavily involved in a plan to ensure that either (a) they get their way on ruling out a No Deal Brexit or (b) they will collapse the UK’s Finance Bill and create a government expenditure crisis in a socio-economic situation that is already dire. (We are talking Anna Soubry and Jack Dromey in the same boat re this one)

Just when you thought it couldn’t get more crazily duplicitous than that, we now have Corbyn about to make a speech saying a General Election is the only way to break the deadlock (5 weeks behind The Slog there, but let’s not get picky) while the majority of his colleagues want a Second Referendum…which wouldn’t be showing a whole shedload of “respect” for the Referendum result – but that’s OK, because that wasn’t A People’s Vote, but the next one will be. It is claimed.

Now call me wacky, but in the light of post-Christmas events, a proper grown-up Government would by now be leaving the Brexit Thing to the i and t crossing of junior ministers and obedient  civil servants: but the former don’t know whatTF is going on, and the latter don’t exist.

This is sad news for genuinely liberal democrats (no caps there).  We of that persuasion would like those who claim to be in charge to radically change their focus.

We would like them to be on the cases of:

global consumption meltdown

the fate of high streets and communities in the light of online, Amazon, and large supermarkets

the abject failure of financialised global capitalism to create trickle-down wealth

how we can avoid being sucked into the Single Currency implosion

the need for a Constitution with teeth to protect The People

how to make Whitehall accountable

why the media/government/police relationship is incestuously deadly

what our post-Brexit strategy is going to be for the brand ‘Made in Britain’

…..and why soil in which to grow a reduction of our import dependency is more important than covering our island in houses containing people who will have nothing to do.

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If you don’t know where to start on this, I don’t blame you. But as an opener, I would point out this genuine news item to all those who still have a hierarchy of importance calculator in their brains.

French astronomers are getting signals from beyond our Galaxy that suggest intelligent life communication is involved.

Please, please, please can we not mention Brexit in any reply we might make to these messages. Otherwise, we shall forever become the Pariah of the Universe. And frankly, we need all the help we can get.

What I propose to do is this.

The next five days at The Slog will be fully taken up by Chuck Chortle’s Giggle Glee & Guffaw Guild.

The contents therein should be taken daily and not seriously. Think of it as the antidote to political snake-oil marketing.

Bon courage mes enfants! Aux barricades de bonkers! A bas des menteurs! Baiser l’établissement! A la recherche de Peter Cook perdu!