John Ward February 22, 2019 MAY PLOTS ARTICLE 50 EXTENSION

EXPLOSIVE: May “has asked EU to prep Article 50 extension”

The Express ran this piece this morning. The dear old Ex isn’t the most reliable of sources, so I rang the Slog’s Sproutmole an hour ago (09.30 CET). The source told me “the gossip here is that at her last meeting with Juncker, May asked him to get the ducks in a row for a short extension”.

I’ve been waiting for the right moment to release this somewhat bitter parody based on Alfred Lord Tennyson’s Charge of the Light Brigade. Enjoy

The Brexit Theresa May made
By ANGERED WARD TENNYSLOG

Half a league forwards,
Half a league backwards
up and down
the arsehole of Eee-Yoo
Rode the six-fifty.
All of us wondered,
quite why they had blundered
just because gappy
Verhofstadt thundered…..

Cowards to the right of us,
Cowards to the left of us,
Bullies in front of us.
But haunted by visions of Hell
and taunted by motives that smell
back up the arsehole of Eee-You
rode the six-fifty…

Theirs not not to bother or try
theirs just to blubber and cry,
theirs but to dither and lie –
theirs just to tell us all why
it must be surrender or die.
Occasional sabres of wood
were rattled, but Brussels smelt blood.
Up and down the arsehole of Eee-Yoo
Rode the six-fifty….

The euronauts soon understood
(by God they were quick to divine)
this Great Britain not even Good –
its MPs all born with no spine.
Hidden by media smoke,
disguising the fact they were broke –
as one vicious pack they cried wolf
and highlighted Old Blighty’s gulf
twixt gullible Left-looking eyes
and older heads steadfastly wise.
Shattered and shifty,
up and down
the arsehole of Eee-Yoo
limped the six-fifty.

The Eee-Yoo revenge it was brutal
but our horses
were all parked in neutral,
so, snatching defeat from win-win
six hundred gave up and gave in.
But fifty that had fought so well
(although horse and hero, they fell)
emerged from the arsehole of Hell.
Now all that remained was six hundred –
all happy to see Blighty plundered….
So right up the arsehole of Eee-Yoo
rode the six hundred…..

When will their infamy fade
for the Deal with the Devil they made?
For the seventeen million ignored
and the way Robbins traitors all whored
one by one with both Barnier and Juncker
and all of the rest in the bunker….
those grey men with no Voyager Gene
each one a deadbeat has-been.
Thirty-nine billion for nothing refunded
right up the arsehole of Eee-Yoo
crawled the six hundred.

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1

Henry V – Speech – Eve of Saint Crispin’s #Agincourt #TwitterTrending #GrubStreetJournal #Latest #AuntiesBanStick – Not The Grub Street Journal on October 25, 2019 at 3:31 pm

[…] EXPLOSIVE: May “has asked EU to prep Article 50 extension”The Express ran this piece this mornin… […]

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2

VeraMaureen Jenner on February 25, 2019 at 10:34 am

The stark truth that emerges from the sorry mess of Brexit is that which we have all suspected – we are without any politician worthy of being the leader of the country and we are without any prospect of finding one among all the current detritus at Westminster.

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3

ekatirina loy on February 23, 2019 at 3:36 pm

An excellent reworking of the poem, John. These craven cowards have sold our country out and do not have the bottle to go boldly into the world – if they keep us in the EU the country is finished. I hope they are punished severely at the next election.

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4

Kevin Peters on February 23, 2019 at 1:00 pm

Next stage in the Remainer synthetic crisis will be another bout of ministerial resignations with perhaps even undertaker Hammond resigning. May will be told that a vote of no confidence will be triggered if she doesn’t opt for delay, but these bar stewards would run a mile from meeting the electorate at the moment so it will be a bluff.

In short London wants Remain whereas the rest of England wants out, so our esteemed London Leaders want to tell the Leaver England to get stuffed we are staying, but they want to pretend otherwise.

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5

iain on February 23, 2019 at 11:54 am

This land of such dear souls, this dear, dear land,
Dear for her reputation through the world,
Is now leased out
Like to a tenement or pelting farm.
England, bound in with the triumphant sea,
Whose rocky shore beats back the envious siege
Of watery Neptune, is now bound in with shame,
With inky blots and rotten parchment bonds.
That England that was wont to conquer others
Hath made a shameful conquest of itself.

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6

Mark Hornshaw on February 23, 2019 at 8:30 am

Is the City getting its own way:

https://wolfstreet.com/2019/02/22/with-disorderly-brexit-increasingly-likely-eu-blinks-on-derivatives-clearing-in-london/

Stumbling out of the EU may just happen!

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7

John Day on February 23, 2019 at 2:58 am

Further charges accruing to the Light Brigade, then?

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8

copydude on February 23, 2019 at 1:59 am

Really funny . . . loved Tennyslog’s pome.

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9

tonyopmoc on February 22, 2019 at 10:33 pm

John Ward, Over the last couple of years or so, my perception of your writings, is that they have dramatically improved. You should be proud of yourself.

In fact I now think they are so good, that you should have an entry on wikipedia.

Maybe you are already there???

There’s loads of you…

Have you go a middle name?

Like Mark E. Smith of The Fall (Salford) did?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Ward

Happy Birthday.

Tony

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10

Lupulco on February 22, 2019 at 6:53 pm

“Thirty-nine billion for nothing refunded
right up the arsehole of Eee-Yoo
crawled the six hundred.”

If you, or your sources are right JW. They [the EU] should send the bill to Conservative party headquarters.

In or out? They seem to have lost the plot. Or as Hereford used to say “either crap, or get off the pot”,

Personally, I think the UK Plc should take control, Rescind article 50 [our decision] then screw the buggers from within.

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11

alisonfletch on February 22, 2019 at 6:38 pm

All these rats (MPs) leaving their sinking ships, stabbing in the back as they go. What does it all mean? As I am not a bar maid in Brussels or Westminster, I don’t know. All I know is that in the real world (where people say what they mean so no second guessing required) the man digging the hole in the road outside my home, seems to be Eastern European. So I would saY the horse has well and truly bolted so actually the EU is not THAT important anyway.

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12

Rosstradamus on February 22, 2019 at 6:21 pm

Stephanroi, please can I quote your adaptation? My highly educated and successful kids need some “perspective” in these last chance days of “democracy” before we are engulfed by 5G. John, may I suggest that you prepare Sloggers for this onslaught ,5G, which will sluice out our very thoughts, let alone our trawls within the likes of Google and Amazon. The new Cyber Defensive Units announced by our celebrated Mincer of Defence, Gav the Chav, are specifically designed for UK Internal repression, ie, the 3.00am bash your door down scene. Gav and his handlers know, from the “Russian Revolution” what really intimidates!!!! Yes, UK is as bad as that. Research?

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13

Barry Huston on February 22, 2019 at 6:18 pm

I also cannot see anything happening if we are forced to stay in – no uprisings – just general anger. I think even Farage and the latest reincarnation of UKIP are hoping for a delay/ stopping of Brexit because they see opportunities for themselves and their parties. What cannot be predicted, however, is what will happen at the next General Election if we have not left the EU.

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14

stevehayes13 on February 22, 2019 at 4:25 pm

The amount of falsehoods, rumours reported as fact, make believe, disinformation and propaganda masquerading as news on the subject of our leaving the European Union is only surpassed by the mountain of misinformation about Russia.

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15

rogerglewis on February 22, 2019 at 3:01 pm

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16

bill40 on February 22, 2019 at 2:58 pm

One. That’s the number of extensions you need to stop Brexit in it’s tracks stone dead. After that we’ll spend the best part of forever in continued discussions about how we are going to leave without getting round to doing so. Now you know I’m not one to say I told you so, but I told you so.

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17

Alan Beishon on February 22, 2019 at 2:45 pm

Even more brilliant. Thanks. AB

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18

rogerglewis on February 22, 2019 at 2:30 pm

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19

rogerglewis on February 22, 2019 at 2:28 pm

Reblogged this on RogersLongHairBlog and commented:

Bravo I have set a reading to

Steiner’s Charge of the Light Brigade I have not had the time to master the sound files and do anything with transitions, slides and any other of the fun things one can do with this..
Hopefully, this does it some justice.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/quick-dirty-seo-new-web-3-publishing-plaform-samasdis-roger-lewis/?published=t

#SamizdisSamizdat #BrexitRebeliion #ConquestofDough #Web3BeattheBanStick

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20

Mickey on February 22, 2019 at 1:20 pm

Absolutley spot on, set it music and I give the new national anthem of shame.
We need to get some quotes for 650 nice new spikes and widen trailors gate a good bit.
Bastards one and all, grrr.
It’s said they don’t ‘get it’, but boy are they gonna Get It.
Mickey.

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21

Loopyhoop on February 22, 2019 at 1:12 pm

Excellent stuff! Such inspired work is almost worth being painfully and repeatedly shafted by the EU and it’s cronies for. The best art and creativity tends to come from darker places so, looking on the bright side, I suppose we at least have the beautiful flowering of the next renaissance in western culture to look forward to.

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22

stephenroi on February 22, 2019 at 1:06 pm

I’m still hoping to quote this at the end of March 2019….

This day is called the feast of Brexit:
He that lives for this day, and comes EU-free home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Brexit.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say ‘To-morrow is Brexit Saved:’.

This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Brexit Brexiteers shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember’d;
We the 17.4 million few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds the EU with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And Remainers in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their mania cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us to win Brexit day.

(With apols to W Shakespeare)
————————————-
Don’t apologise, great stuff. JW

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23

KJH on February 22, 2019 at 12:53 pm

The leading Remainers were summoned one by one by the PM yesterday. It was telling that they emerged tight-lipped but pleased with their frank exchanges. I wonder what could have been said to get them on-side?

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24

Louise on February 22, 2019 at 11:56 am

That is why the Corbyn takedown happened when it did. May now looks weak but he is not seen as the Leader of the Opposition so any attacks from him are somewhat blunted.

All of this, the timing of the Tom Bower book serialisation, quickly followed by the IG group, quickly followed by this has been months in the planning.

The IG group aids a narrative for delay.

They have always wanted a secend rigged referendum and they will get one. No matter what it takes.

And there won’t be any freedom on the internet when it comes around. People will be too scared to campaign in case they end up like Darren Grimes.

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25

john cheshire on February 22, 2019 at 11:51 am

Does Mrs May, with her handlers, want civil unrest in our country, is that what they’ve been planning for these past three years?

I believe there is much suppressed anger in our country; we’ve been waiting and watching while the swamp dwellers plot and scheme, counting down the days to the 29th. March and controlling our anger.

I believe if Dancing Terry delays our exit from the EU, all hell will break loose.
—————————–
John, with the best will in the World, I cannot see that happening. The vast majority seem to me bored and apathetic. JW

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26

john problem on February 22, 2019 at 11:07 am

Vastly amusing – and true!

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