The single biggest thing the UK election opinion polls tell us is that politicians have never been more derided and distrusted than they are today. But this increasingly tribalist contest isn’t going to rid us of many of the existing participants…or indeed their phobe-centric narcissist followers and monied lobbyists. 2020 will dawn with almost nothing changed. The Slog explains  why this election is about choosing between political failures.

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There is an old adage that avers, “most humour is generated by the difference between human aspiration and human achievement”. It very rarely does any harm to laugh at ourselves, so I offer this thought tonight as an opener on the farcical General Election through which we find ourselves living: it is now so far away from what We the People wanted it to be about, you just have to laugh your head off while shaking it pensively from side to side.

It was going to be the Election where Nigel Farage sent the Establishment packing, and rewrote the history of British politics. A week is a long time in politics, and three weeks are a lifetime.

For the Left, it was foretold as the election where St Corbyn’s Stürm Abteilung of Momentum organisation would smash the FarHardRightNazi forces of Remainer Üntermenschen (aka Tories and Leavers) with a tank breakthrough led by Josef Owenavitch Jonesgashvili of the Fifth LGBTQ Proletarian Kolumski. As I write, they are carrying out a valiant defence of Yakutsk, 600 miles north of the Chinese border, and 1800 miles east of Moscow.

For the LibDems, it would signify (yet again) the Final Victory of confused Illiberal Demagoguery over open minds, and thrust the Valkiryesque tits of Josefine Schweinson into the very epicentre of election politics. But then Jo had a few of her epis interrogated, and her ratings plunged to the point where 1 in 2 voters are projectile vomiting at the very sound of her name.

As far as the campaigns overall go, the Conservatives are having a consistently shit time (-7), the Labour Party a slightly less shit time than previously (- 11) , the LibDems a far more shit time than expected (- 20) and time is up for the Brexit Party (- 21) which has gone from midriff to neck in terms of shit depth.

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UK politics and democracy are not in a good place when the only meaningful unit of measurement is the turd. Indeed, there is an air of negativity about the whole thing that would have Stephen Fry heading for the hills in preparation for another of his personal crises.

To be blunt here, this election has been hijacked by varietal forces of people with whom you’d only have lunch under extreme duress.

By a media pack demanding that Jeremy Corbyn is a rabid anti-semite, when it would be more objectively helpful for our culture if it focused on what a divisive little ideofascist weasel he is.

By force or forces of uncertain identity who keep saying ‘Get Brexit Done’ as a means of distracting from the €39 billion pointless giveaway in WA2 – plus the trillion-euro EIB liability, not to mention the quasi-NATO military nonsense.

By Leftist ravings about selling the NHS to Trump’s children as some kind of eternal legacy from The Big Donald.

But probably above all by Us: you, me and the gatepost: that eternal triangle of voters still determined to cower inside the political stockade, rather than launch a drone to take some shots of what’s happening elsewhere within (and beyond) the jungle.

At the start of this election, I had the idea of a series of pieces all headed ‘Issues this Election Won’t Address’. I posted two of them, and then gave up. There is a very simple reason for that: the low hits and comments made were the clearest signal any commentator is ever going to get that a few enlightened people see what one is on about, but almost everyone else is obsessed with immediacy.

Stop Boris. Get Corbyn. Stop Swinson. Get Brexit. Stop Farage. Revoke 50.

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But the thing with me is (as my old CDP boss John Wood used to say) “You can keep sticking Wardy’s dick in the dirt, but before you can say ‘blowjob’ he’ll be erect again and smelling of roses”.

So I ask you once again not necessarily to salute the following comments; but if you do, to send them on to as many trusted friends as possible. Because 21st century life – if it’s about nothing else – is about letting enlightened people know they are not alone. We are not in a new Dark Age just yet.

I posted some weeks ago about a council worker fired for refusing to refer to a trans gender patient as a man, when he quite clearly wasn’t. A week later, I was sent documented details of a Jewish London blogger harassed by Mayor Khan’s Islamophobia Squad of goons for writing about ISIS atrocities.

I’m indebted to Slogger Roger Lewis for pointing out to me as graphic an example as you’ll ever see of what I’ve been boffing on about for the best part of fifteen years: the accelerating conversion of our ‘civic’ police forces into a later-day Gestapo of Thought Police:

When you’ve viewed this terrifying case history of an ex-copper deconstructing the blind ambition of senior police officers – when you’ve heard the term ‘non-crime crime’ to describe his “offence” – then perhaps you’ll be ready for what remains of this post.

I ask you all now to think very clearly – once this electoral beauty contest is but a memory – about where the politicians might be who will:

• Denounce ideological unreality
• Protect our free speech from delusional fanatics
• Honour the World War II dead who fought for Free Thought
• Free Britain from blocist alliances
• Devolve power away from multinational monied lobbying
• Take on and defeat the unelected corporacratic State.

The short anwer is, not in politics.

Which is why – as I keep on insisting ad nauseam – the problems of the West are cultural not political.