People last longer than pets, kids usually last longer than parents, and houses last longer than any of them. Most of the tragedies and oddities of life are bound up in those general realities.

The house I occupy in my dotage was built in 1760. It has outlived the Bourbons, the Jacobins, the Bonapartes, the Nazis and the Communists. Which is one mean achievement, given it was never alive in the first place.

The most interesting part of that intro, perhaps, is the fact that Royal families, revolutionaries, Reichs and religions present themselves as being forever. But nothing is forever: all things must pass, and everything is in transition. The very existence of Time dictates that.

Or rather, it would – if Time existed….but it doesn’t. Time and Space are illusions we have created for ourselves because Homo thinkythinky is really just Homo thickythicky. Truth is, the fact that you can poke two electrons a billion light years apart – and they will both react at exactly the same time – means they’re really the same electron in two places at once…or more exactly, one electron that we mistake for two on account of our skew-wiff perception disability.

We keep trying to arrive at laws that are fixed, but they aren’t. Our “vision” is massively limited because we ignore 97% of all the data pouring in from every corner of the Universe. If we didn’t do that, data overload would fry our brains within seconds. To our dismay, we have discovered that in the sub-atomic zone, Newtonian rules don’t apply: the same experiment produces hundreds of different results, some electrons are positively charged neutrinos and, to be honest, anything could happen. Particles can become waves as and when it suits them – and vice versa. At the higher levels of cosmic infinity, antimatter and dark matter are commonplace, transforming themselves into multivariate energy forms as the whim takes them.

In our own particular form of three-dimensional reality, e = mC² is a universal rule – except that, given the illusory nature of Time and Space, our bandwidth reception within the Universe is a narrow unreality: beyond it, travelling faster than the speed of light is perfectly possible, and everything we see separately has a one-ness of individuality that is nevertheless inseparable from the one completely connected Universe….or multiverses, depending on whose hypotheses you follow when it comes to holes of a black or wormy nature.

I read somewhere earlier today that a Labour MP had gone on the record to say that all vaccines (except in very exceptional cases that are entirely the patient’s fault) are totally safe, and this is now settled science. Thousands of his fellow Twatterati had piled in to agree on the matter.

Given that Time and Separation do not exist except in our heads, it follows that when science finally grasps the ability to stay in ‘Forever’ (ie, Now) and cracks the ability to move beyond physicality – to thus reach Andromeda or indeed anywhere else immediately – pretty much every theoretical bet ever made will be off.

From that Timeless moment on, there will be no point to pharmaceuticals, ideological systemics, food, money, shelter, weapons, surveillance, celebrity, footie, fear of death, Piers Morgan, DIY, LGBTQ, Green politics or Woman’s Hour.

And in that spirit, I address in all humility but one question to the pointyheads wrestling with metaphysics in search of a solution: “Would you mind awfully getting on with it?”.