Press Release
Gates Foundation announces the New Normal replacement for Air Miles –
Covid Metres
For immediate release:
In Association with Bonkers Looney Abnormal Idea Reproductions (BLAIR) and the St Mattcock Transhuman Utopian Implant Genomics Track Trace Wash Hands Lockdown Vaccination Collective, The Gates Foundation today announces the Final Solution to the Global Pandemic problem….to be test-marketed and then rolled out from the United Kingdom.
Covid Metres (CMs) will donate 13 million dead anti-virus cryptocurrency nuisance magnates (CNMs) to a campaign configured to achieve global vaccination without the necessity for either social ostracism or anti-social ostriches.
Under the scheme, every unvaccinated man, woman, child, feotus and sperm (UMCs) can avoid the stigma of a wrist tattoo by simply swallowing a FULLY EXPERIMENTAL & HARMLESSLY insoluble Covid Metres Chip (CMC) that will record the number of consecutive days per month they retain a six-metre distance from all sentient beings.
Just 3,400 consecutively metered days on your CMC will earn you 34 Covid Metre Chip Coins (CMCCs) entitling you to a 21-day holiday in one of our partnered Schwab Macht Frei Kampfen Centers in sunny, action-packed Angola….only 14 days of which will be spent in isolation.*
*Isolation day totals may vary under Merkel-Macron whims applicable at the time.
So to be absolutely transparent, if you divide 13 million CNMs by 43 million UMCs, and multiply that by the number of Brebis-brain CMCs in residence, it becomes a mathematical certainty that every CMCC will be inflation-proof under the CM scheme by the year 2046. All applicants can also reassure themselves that the entire project will be overseen by CNN, and underwritten by CNBC.
CAUTION: This release has been fat-chequed by Reuters in cahoots with Standard & Poors.
If you found that feature terribly amusing, here’s some real news which is, by contrast, terrifying.
This link will take you to an official and peer-reviewed study of the Covid19 management drug Ivermectin. It concludes as follows:
‘Moderate-certainty evidence finds that large reductions in COVID-19 deaths are possible using ivermectin. Using ivermectin early in the clinical course may reduce numbers progressing to severe disease. The apparent safety and low cost suggest that ivermectin is likely to have a significant impact on the SARS-CoV-2 pandemic globally.’
” Moderate-certainty ” is medic-speak for “It works”. Matt Hancock is not a stupid man; he chose to ignore this cheap and safe drug in favour of expensive, experimental mRNA cobbled-together genomic experiments masquerading as vaccines. He also hired spectacularly incompetent (at best) Professor Peter Horby of Oxford Recovery, who proceeded to rubbish another cheap formulation HCQ that would have saved tens of thousands of lives if adopted last year in the UK.
In the States, the CDC also ignored Ivermectin
‘Hancock, Fauci and Horby need a new legal definition: “Peace Crimes Against Humanity”. Discuss.’
Angela Merkel wants compulsory isolation for all Brits travelling to Europe this year. Macron has already unilaterally imposed that for France. The UK has twice the level of vaccinated citizens compared to Germany, and three times that of France. The Delta variant of which unsere geliebte Geli claims to be scared is currently killing 1 in 1,217 people. The Slog conducted a small-scale study over the last five days showing that controls on the Dutch, Spanish, Italians, Germans and Portuguese entering France are non-existent. Wake up, people: Brussels is weaponising Covid against Brexit in exactly the same way as they are tooling about with driving licences and boat people. They are drowning, desperate and despicable. The EU I mean, not the illegals.
Yet another paper published this week highlights how climate “change” models err on the side of too much warming: Earth’s warming clouds cool the surface more than anticipated, a German-led team reported in Nature Climate Change last week.
“Our work shows that the increase in climate sensitivity from the last generation of climate models should be taken with a huge grain of salt,” said CIRES Fellow Jennifer Kay, an associate professor of atmospheric and oceanic sciences at CU Boulder, and co-author of the paper.
The modelling con has proved to be behind the two great lies of the 21st Century – global warming and deadly coronavirus. For decades, model climate-critics have questioned the simplified treatment of complexity. Meanwhile, climate models have predicted much more warming than has transpired. And every last Covid19 alarmist mortality model has been out by a factor of four to eleven times.
More lies from Doomberg, aka Covid agitprop Central:
‘In at least 482 US counties, less than 25% of the population is fully vaccinated, according to an analysis of Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data by Bloomberg News. Those numbers are important because viruses don’t spread at a national or statewide level, but among friends, family and neighbors. With more contagious versions of the virus like the delta variant taking hold, pockets of undervaccination are creating opportunities for Covid to spread further and mutate.’
Where is Reuters Fat-Cheque when you need them, eh? So instead, here’s Slog IABATO*:
- There are 3,006 Counties in the US. So what about the other 2,524, Boombust?
- On average, the so-called vaccines only stop Covid spread in 31% of cases. Unvaccinated US States are doing far better than vaccinated ones.
- The Delta variant is the weakest Covid mutation yet to appear. India (almost devoid of “vaccines”) where it originated still has the lowest deaths per million on the planet.
Our media are a bunch of creaking whores.
*It’s All Bollocks And That’s Official
And finally, a recent Gartner HR survey revealed that nearly half (48%) of large global organisations will not track the vaccination status of their employees, with less than one in ten (8%) requiring staff to show proof of vaccination…..although a nationwide survey in Ireland this month showed that well over half (60%) of Irish employers want the right to ask their staff if they have received a COVID-19 vaccine. Elsewhere, a report in last weekend’s Sunday Times noted that: “Some employers are asking staff to show they have been vaccinated, such as publisher Bloomsbury. Others are not.”
Businesses need clear vaccination strategies that put their people first, according to Mark Shaw, CEO of Tento Applied Sciences. A quick, secure, and individually controlled way for employers and employees to prove and validate their vaccination and test status at the tap of a screen, helps individuals and organisations implement a trusted and controlled strategy. Most people want to know that all the people they are working or socialising with have been vaccinated or tested to ensure the lowest personal risk possible.
This is putting people first, is it?
Mark Shaw of Tento Applied Sciences, fuck off with your axe-grinding.
That’s it for today, folks. Anyone still laughing?
After a great deal of thought, mulling shit over, taking all factors into consideration at the end of the day and weighing the whole kit and caboodle up, John Ward has concluded that the answer’s a lie – now what’s the question?
The Slog 