Johnson must be laughing loud enough to wet his pants: he has The People in the palm of his hand
Time to deconstruct this morning’s smoothing media balm about ‘the end of Covid19 restrictions’: BoJo has given away nothing but his imperial aims
The attempt by the propagandist wing of the Daily Telegraph to suggest that Boris Johnson ‘will make clear this week he is “dead set” against another national lockdown as he rips up the old system of Covid rules and adopts a new approach for winter’ would be reassuring if we hadn’t seen so many previous false dawns from the Prime Sinister and his coven of gobstopper-eyed weirdos.
The centrepiece of this new Freedom U-Turn is the decision to ‘scrap’ vaccine passports to get into venues. Now, scrap is what a car becomes when it is no longer fit for purpose….except when it’s a Covid19 measure: because in this case, ‘However, the proposal will be kept “in reserve” should there be a surge in Covid cases in the autumn and winter. Companies will also be allowed to adopt them if desired.’ So vps have been scrapped, minus only the scrapyard outcome.
On closer examination, in fact, this entire PR stunt is “However” spin specially developed for the “Whatever” generation.
‘Covid laws that are no longer required will be ditched’. Well, ‘ish’: ‘some restrictions, such as new face mask mandates and guidance urging people to once again work from home, will remain as options’. Ah, right….so, um, define ‘no longer required’. How about ‘they have not been ditched entirely, with Mr Johnson expected to say it is a back-up option if Covid surges. Aides see vaccine passports as a more palatable option than social distancing’. Presumably, all over Britain, teams of Borisite knuckle-draggers are hunting for torn-up Covid19 restrictions in ditches, to be painstakingly collected and stuck back together again.
‘no more national lockdowns’: Yeeeessss, sort of. I mean, Boris ‘is “dead set” against another national lockdown as he rips up the old system of Covid rules and adopts a new approach for winter’. He ‘is “adamant” he will not impose another national lockdown, preferring to use measures with less economic impact’. It’s looking good: the PM is more dead set and adamant than Stonewall Jackson, and ripping it all up like Little Richard in 1957. However (the Torygraph adds much further down the article) ‘Mr Johnson and his Cabinet ministers are unlikely to categorically rule out ever adopting a lockdown again, accepting the uncertainty inherent when tackling Covid’. Speaking personally, I’m adamantly opposed to death, being in fact dead set against it and ready to tell the Grim Reaper where he can stick his scythe. But ultimately, que sera sera and all that.
“I think we can turn the tide within the next 12 weeks and I’m absolutely confident that we can send coronavirus packing in this country”: So the serial philandering population-grower, taxi emissions liar and Hackgate investigation-spiker told us in March 2020. He also said at that time, “I can assure you that we will keep these restrictions under constant review. We will look again in three weeks, and relax them if the evidence shows we are able to…there is a clear way through”. Six months later he could offer only, “we are simplifying and strengthening the rules – making them easier for you to understand and for the police to enforce”. In this manner does constant reviewing produce a return to libertarian normal by giving the police more powers than they had half a year earlier.
Now back to today’s Telegraph lead eighteen months later, and harken unto this from a senior Cabinet source: “This is the new normal. The vaccines are a wall of defence, but the autumn and winter do offer some uncertainty”. So to be clear, we’re getting normal at last…and hurrah, it’s a new one: what’s more, it’s guaranteed by a wall of defence composed of – it’s OFFICIAL – the ‘most potentially deadly vaccine approach in the history of immunisation’. With Jericho walls like that one, who’s afraid of Joshua and his demolition trumpeteers?
‘The green-amber-red traffic light system, often criticised for its complexity, will be replaced with a simpler system‘. Excellent. It’s a step in the right direction, isn’t it? Er…isn’t it? Hmmm….’Double-jabbed travellers will only have to take a lateral flow test before boarding flights to come home and another two days after returning, under current thinking, thereby avoiding expensive PCR tests’. Rrrright. And we of the leper colony? ‘the unvaccinated will still have to take PCR tests and people returning from red list countries will have to quarantine in government-selected hotels’. But nihil desperandum, liberty-lovers, because this isn’t medical apartheid; also, George Floyd was completely innocent, Joe Biden has the memory of a mensa elephant, Anthony Fauci is sexy and 107% turnouts in southern Arizona prove that democracy in American is in rude health.
There is only one excerpt from this new round of Give and Take you need to carry forth with you into the continuing Phoney War on Totalitarianism:
‘However, the Public Health Act, under which lockdowns were legally enforced, will remain on the statute book, leading to criticism from lockdown-sceptic Tory MPs’
Well, quite….and we all know just how effective 80 Tory lardarses can be in preserving our civil rights.
One closing this Monday lunchtime: if you have a Labour MP, why not send him this Slogpost, and ask why Keir Sturmer’s response to Il Ducé Boriscini is a 12,000 word essay that’s easier to bear than crucifixion.
The Slog 