The Tories are not allowing voters to make a clear enough connection between social catastrophe and New Labour ideology

‘This door is alarmed’ said the glass Tesco door as I left the store yesterday. Watching some of the people who came in, it’s easy to see why: I found them positively horrifying.

As Waitrose is the best model for what British aspirations should be, Tesco is the perfect barometer for the Cool Britannia created by thirteen years of inept, selfish and superficial government. It is a myth that the lowest among us shop at Lidl. I go to Lidl all the time (for the German and Scandinavian foodstuffs) and the customers are certainly eclectically eccentric – old, poor, canny, rich, foreign, foodies, social workers, nurses, – but they are not Big Britain today. Tesco is Big Britain.

If you think I choose Big as some sort of ironic counterpoint to the Little Britain shows, then you miss the point; I use the word in its classic euphemistic sense of ‘hopelessly fat and loud’. And if Tesco is a barometer of our multiply-fractured society, then the store at Surrey Keys in Docklands is without question the crystal ball displaying where our culture is going.

The customers there aren’t stereotypes, they’re archetypes. Stereotypes are allegedly bigoted constructs of people who don’t exist; archetypes represent the disturbing truth that they do. To be more exact, they’re mobiletypes: they wobble around engaged in non-stop hand to ear communication, pushing enormous trolleys covered in babies and toddlers, and buying expensive packaged junk when, for half the price, they could choose good food. And these are the top Alphas in the tribe: the worst examples have human bridal trains of smaller but equally obese clones meandering for several yards behind them – and are accompanied by blokes you could only describe as insignificant others.

I’m not laughing at these people: there are far too many of them for this to be a laughing matter. I record their obvious existence to highlight what normal people blessed with even average sensory equipment have known for a decade: Britain is a society heading for Hell in a bucket.

The rationale for that observation involves a combination of fecundity and mathematics, neither of which are hard to grasp. A decade ago, there were 11,000 children in care (the figures vary depending on which agenda you go to) and today there are 93,000. The kids who should be in care are probably three times that larger number: they aren’t because abusive parents are cunning, social workers are overwhelmed, and social services as a form often snatch the wrong ones as a desperate response to target mania.

This sub-unter-Klasse has on average (according to the ONS) 2.3 times more kids than highly educated professional parents. Over the last decade (thanks to New Labour social engineering or sheer incompetence – I still can’t work it out) they’ve been joined by another five million people who remain at sea in the host culture. Multiply these rates up alongside existing social and educational policies, and the appalling conclusion is that by 2027 they will represent just under a quarter of the population.

Fear not, this isn’t me heading for an Enoch moment. I simply asset the statistical reality in order to compare and contrast it with the Elysian orchard of stout trees occupied by the sick man who used to be Gordon Brown.

Having cut 15% off the police budget, earlier this week the PM railed against the lack of police on the front line. He said it as if some other Party had been in power since 1997. He coats these patronising fantasies with lachrymose syrup about loving Britain, being inspired by its community spirit, and only having one eye.

The Prime Minister doesn’t get out much. To quote the honest and likeably funny Frank Field, having been let out of the attic, Gordon has decided that’s far enough. Of course, if you listen to the Pravdas like Piers Morgan and the Number Ten Press Office, Gordon runs up and down the country 24/7, pausing only to lift people out of poverty, or observe hard-working families, economic growth, and falling crime.

The rest of us – and according to the latest Politicshome research, we’re only one in four of the voters – know that he’s an unhinged, pathological liar.

Like many ridiculously protected and privileged people today, Mongo Brown has minders and tutors feeding him a steady diet of glorious tomorrows. Chief among these are a serially exposed slanderous degenerate, a hard-left Scottish porg, and a tweeting playground bully who wants his job.

But there are another 40% of folks out there who’ve been taken in by the quaint quartet in Ten Downing Street. This vital 2 in 5 will, I think, listen to and accept reality if the Tories can do three things between now and whenever it’s going to be: demonstrate how they will make the savings with bend-over-backwards fairness that is scrupulous to a fault; be very honest about the scale of the problem; and make it crystal clear why it is the muddled philosophy and cynical tactics employed by the Government that lie behind this acceleration in our cultural demise.

Oh, and a fourth thing would be good: to keep Matthew Parris away from the Cameroonian ears for the duration. I like Matthew and he is a good human being….but this is a time for men of action, not world-weary sketch writers.

Get RSS feeds via http://nbyslog.blogspot.com/