The Chilcot Inquiry members (having begun sifting the documents supplied to them) have already discovered major discrepancies between what they say and the evidence given by witnesses, The Slog has learned.

The Slogger continues, however, to feel a nasty resemblance between all this, and the 1972 Nixon election – when nobody wanted to know about Watergate, because they were too busy re-electing the President.

I’ve come to feel that Chilcot’s Dead Sheep wouldn’t know a smoking gun if it shot them in the foot. And to change metaphors, I’ve lost count of the number of own-goals they’ve scored already. Beware armed footballing sheep, that’s what I say.

I think it’s time we dropped the discrepancies and inaccuracies and errors and oversights. Let’s focus on the lies.

After that, there remains but one decision for this venerably somnambulent quintet: to go to the media with their findings, or bury the whole thing in a boring 3000 page report. If it is to be the latter, I have the very template for them: the Warren Commission.