Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy has penned lines upon the nature of David Beckham’s achilles tendon problem.

And did those feet
in modern times
walk upon Milan’s pastures green?
While Posh went
shopping for some Choos –
papparrazi to lose.
Capello was sympatico
and John Terry
of profile low
said Fabio
prefers Rio
a heel more dastardly
than me.