This morning, Peter Hain allowed us to know that Gordon “would consider” giving up his divine right to set the timing of elections in return for a coalition with the Libdems. Put out more flags: our slavery is at an end – we may actually get fixed-term Parliaments. But mind you, the PM is only considering it. He’s still considering the date of the election, so this could take some time.

Another thing Mr Brown is considering is a scheme whereby everyone can have their own see-through mirror to government….and vice versa. He clearly hasn’t considered the libertarian downside of this idea. But Lord Mandelson was keen to tell us on Marr three weeks ago that the Prime Minister prefers to take his time and consider everything very carefully.

In the light of this allegedly honest appraisal of Gordon Brown, I’m left wondering what he thinks about during that consideration period. When deciding that he’d do pretty much anything for a consideration, for example, Stephen Byers obvious gave no consideration to anything apart from the wonga. But as the one nice thing we can say about Gordon is he’s quite happy to give all his money (and ours) away, filthy lucre surely never enters his cogitation process.

But if he’s so considered, why is he always so wrong? He didn’t consider an Inquiry into lobbying necessary – but there’s clearly going to be one. He didn’t consider it important to give evidence to the Chilcots – but then he was forced to. I mean, all this time he’s considering, what is the bloke thinking about?

I have a solution to this apparent conundrum – that is, the Prime Minister’s habit of taking ages to consider his decision, then making the wrong decision, and then changing his mind as soon as anyone important opposes that decision. And that is, he doesn’t consider anything except one extremely complex factor: how might this course of action do me any harm?

Whatever scene of whatever crime might be involved, Gordon is the master of evading capture. There are no fingerprints on the gun, nothing in writing, a string of excuses even if he does wind up in the frame, an endless line of officials to blame – and above all, an alibi.

Now that’s a lot of things to consider. None of them are important to the Party or the country or us, but they are to a man so consumed with the ambition to prove himself, everything must be about him. The chances of blame attaching to any person at the top are myriad. And they are so obviously the reason why he can never make his mind up, I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me before.

I wonder if you’ve spotted that – if he loses this election – the date isn’t going to be down to Gordon Brown. And it isn’t, you know: it really isn’t, because he’s never said a word on the subject. I would be willing to bet that he will go to the Palace and there will be a release, but the PM will say nothing personally.

You see, when Gordon Brown should be brainstorming a problem, he’s actually blamestorming the outcome. This is his overriding flaw, and one of the many reasons why he is unfit to be the Prime Minister of this or any other country.