Poor Peter Mandelson can only look on in horror as his world crashes down into ruins. The New Labour Reich designed to last a thousand years is in pieces. The plans he had for an alliance with the LibDems to keep the Tories out forever have foundered. And his ‘sick’ poster showing William Hague in a wheelchair last week had him accused – for the second time – of digital plagiarism…rather ironic considering Mandy was the architect of the bill banning it.

And now, all Peter’s friends in Hungary are about to lose their jobs.

Viktor Orbán and his Right-wing Fidesz Party won Hungary’s runoff general election last weekend, with the widest majority in the country’s post-Soviet history. The new government has a huge mandate to cut taxes, shrink the civil service and boost social spending – not exactly an unpopular set of policies, and more than enough to see off his Lordship’s chums in the Socialist Party. What’s worse, the slimmed-down civil service is looking very hard at its foreign office….where Peter had so many especially close friends.

Gyula Hegyi in particular will now find himself without a job. Perhaps this will allow him to spend more time attending knitting circles. But the Glory days of attending trade missions with his English friend have gone forever.

And now, to cap it all, a mystery poster has been put up in Carlisle showing The First Lord of Funny Business with a rope tightening around his neck. Underneath the visual is the line, ‘We don’t want a hung Parliament’.

I didn’t know he was into that sort of thing.