I think anyone who’s ever walked down a Rio beach would be instantly aware that the main thing Brazil makes is beautiful girls, and tiny bikinis to put them in. This – and the country’s approach to soccer – has always made it my favourite place to retire to….except I only know three words of Portuguese, and two of those are ‘Bon Dia’.

Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen is a rather lovely example of the country’s output, but unfortunately she’s terminally stupid. Fraulein Bundchen has been showing off her German genes by saying there should be a worldwide law forcing mothers to breastfeed their babies for the first six months. (She gave birth to a son seven months ago, and so as you can see is sticking strictly to what she knows).

As if there weren’t enough tasty morsels undulating up and down the beaches of Brazil, the country is also (I’m serious) a leading exporter of transvestite models. Indeed, fashion house Givenchy caused a stir today after it announced a transsexual model is working for the brand.

Lea T, a former ‘backroom assistant’ at the prestigious fragrance house, will appear in its autmumn/winter advertising campaign. His real name is Leandro Cerezo, but progress to becoming a her is ongoing. This has alienated him/her from the traditional Catholic family of his/her roots and – she/he says – “led me to suffer extreme bouts of loneliness”.

But if Gisele Bundchen gets into power, she may well force Lea T to have children and then breastfeed. You see before giving supermodels the oxygen of publicity, we should all ponder the potential consequences.