Into the Valley of milk and honey waddled
the 600,000 –
MPs to the right of’em
bankers to the left of ’em.

“Forward the pinstripes!” now shouted Sir Humphrey,
“and lay waste the taxpayers, soldiers and poor –
Charge them for all of our pensions and benefits,
empty the Treasury until there’s no more!”

“Somebody’s blundered!” argued The Sloggers.
But theirs not to make reply,
or ever give us reason why –
theirs to gorge on every pie.

All the world wondered
but nobody’d tell
why ignoble Humphreys
were doing so well.
All feather-bedded
with million pound pots,
the 600,000 were calling the shots.

Lunched-up and watered
they volleyed and thundered
at anyone daring
to call them unfunded…
then quickly retreated
back into their shell –
safe from recession
while we went to Hell.

Back from the valley were dragged the Sir Humphreys
still unaware how their glory did fade,
O the wild charges they made!
And O in the end how they paid….
So let us dishonour the 600,000
of Whitehall and Town Hall and index-ed link
Let them all know we are finally roused and
“No funding – no benefits!” – THAT’S what we think.

Email your MP, circulate this poem, bombard the comment threads until the Establishment get the message:

“NO FUNDING – NO BENEFITS”

Tomorrow: The Slog names the troughers