And now, a correction from the EU Coupe des Championnats results we gave earlier:

Spanish Cucumbers 0  German Bean Sprouts 3

This revises the original score, which was the other way round. The winners will play Brussels Sprouts in the semi-finals of the Eurocrat Disinformation Champions League. Quarter-finals scores now also confirmed are:

Berlin Stormtroopers 5  Athens Borrowers 0

Sarkozy Geithners 2  DSK Bankfurt 1

Brussels Sprouts 17  Cameron Wanderers 3

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Talking of poison, I see that Pernod-Ricard (the chaps who own Jacob’s Creek) are bemoaning the way in which ‘poor discount wine quality’ is ruining the wine market. This strikes me as a bit like Ryan Giggs fulminating about the breakdown in sexual morals, but the fairly obvious truth in the booze giant’s whinge is that Blossom Hill, a brand owned by rival Diageo, has enjoyed a 10% volume increase after cutting its average price from £4.35 to £4.29.

The main difference between the Creek and the Hill for me is that the former is just about alright for those times towards the end of Christmas drinks parties when something horribly chemical isn’t going to register much with the palate anyway; whereas the Hill’s only function in life is to dull the pain of rising pavements after a serious Stag party. Jacob’s Creek is a cheap Indian after the pub sort of wine, but Blossom Hill is the genuine article: a KFC after midnight brew. The entire success of Kentucky Fried Chicken is based on the consumer’s inability to remember the experience afterwards. Pretty much the same can be said of Blossom Hill.

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Talking yet again of poison, this one is a belter: McDonald’s seems to be alone in reviving the U.S. economy. It hired 62,000 employees in April. Ronald McDonald doesn’t pay that well, so the trend downwards in average Dollars per hour paid in the States is clearly continuing.

But you shouldn’t see this as just a gag: Morgan Stanley estimates that these McDonald’s hires will boost the overall net US job increases by 25-30,000…or just over half the country’s total new jobs created in the month.

What these data miss is the obvious extrapolation: that Americans pauperised by trickle-down economics are not just earning cheap – they’re eating cheap too.

Let them eat Quarterpounders, that’s what I say.