John Ward July 21, 2011 Hackgate PMT syndrome

At the End of the Day

PMT and me.

I’ve been getting in touch with my feminine side today, which is perhaps why I’ve been displaying symptoms of PMT – Post Murdoch Trauma. This is a condition under which hacks and bloggers suffer the Cold Turkey of eschewing labyrinthine streams of revelatory horror, the better to undergo a form of rehab whereby they relearn how to write about same-sex marriage, murderous nurses, soccer transfers, and Saudi women drivers.

The PMT condition involves surfing weather sites – it’s 40 degrees in New York, by the way – and ringing the Bristol Coroner’s office in the hope of uncovering something interesting about the death of Christopher Shales and another Newscorper has been fired, this time for hacking phones while working for The Sun, ~~this is further proof that~~. Sorry. Small lapse. Won’t happen again.

During recovery from PMT, sick bloggers must also suffer the appalling challenge of watching BBCNews for longer than three minutes. As part of my therapy today, The Slog watched as Will Hutton told us that ratings agencies are overrated. If you can’t rate a ratings agency’s ratings, then who or what can you trust? I think we should be told, and The Slog will name the guilty men. And women of course: let’s not forget our womenfolk, one of whom it seems has been killing hospital patients, but journalists are saying James Murdoch is a liar and Robert Peston claims that John Whittingdale ~~is a cross-dressing~~ sorry, sorry – mind wandered again. Must try harder.

Even worse, the PMT cure involves reading the financial press. This has enabled me to posit that one European stability facility is equal to the flexibility of the Merkel, where the rigidity of the eurobank credibility is constant. The unknown x factor in this equation is the variable Rompuy of every Barroso, and the torque of the York if the cliche of the Trichet falls below the value of news is just coming in that tonight’s fired Newscorper is Matt Nixon, the Sun features editor ~~who was convicted of fancying pigeons and~~ for God’s sake stop me before I accuse again.

The Duke of York has stepped down. He stepped up to the plate, after years of stepping out with unsuitable women, but then the Foreign Office stepped all over him via the good offices of the Telegraph where as we all know they are all ~~phone-hacking bastards and whats’ more~~ right, that’s it, I’m going to call The Samaritans. It’s the only answer.

Postscript: Lucian Freud is dead. The best 20th century painter of the nude. He never met Andy Coulson, but was in love with Margaret Thatcher. I am cured.

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1

Christophe on July 22, 2011 at 6:22 pm

Thanks for the link – although a terrible speaker (IMO), the fellow has an interesting analysis.

That being said, I strongly disagree with his conclusion: we don’t need to accept the crap politicians we have. We can protest and boot them out of office RIGHT NOW. Why on earth is there a need for yet another war? I strongly doubt that Germans or Russians want war – it’s just the few insane in positions of power who are causing all this.

Let’s not forget who wins from war, who always desires war: the military industrial complex, which has a vast presence and influence in all countries, including the U.K.

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Morningstar on July 22, 2011 at 7:51 am

Had a look at your site and regarding some of the subjects you might find this interesting ! Its a long watch (series) but with other links posted on this site at earlier times – the full subject matter ties in what I originally thought was someone just “self aggrandising”…. (and to a certain extent events have caught up and overtaken and almost proved to be wrong ‘bin laden’ for instance.)

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Caratacus on July 22, 2011 at 6:43 am

That’s me told then….

I may be many things (including having something wrong with me – the memsahib would be the first to agree) but I don’t think I qualify as a troll.

Perhaps my background has given me too dark a sense of humour, but as a cuddly, sensitive RSM bellowed gently into my ear from a distance of approx. 2 inches many years ago, “If you can’t take a joke laddie, you shouldn’t have effing-well joined”.

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Christophe on July 21, 2011 at 10:54 pm

Uh, no. I read John’s post as the output from a mind that is still busy processing deeply discordant information – something that takes a while to work itself out, in all cases.

As such, although the post is witty, I do not believe it is humorous or that it was meant to be seen as such. Rather, I’d say the internet is full of Trolls, as usual. As in real-life, it is easy to unmask them: simply ask them to agree with anything that isn’t at least referenced by the mainstream and you’ll see how they fall.

More importantly, if you feel that Hackgate and its victims (including a murdered witness just yesterday) should be dealt with using humour, or that anything else that our shockingly corrupt politicians are trying to get away with is similarly funny, then obviously there is something wrong with you. So, sorry if being a ‘Samaritan’ is rain on your parade, but I’m keeping it real.

P.S.: readers can get to my website by clicking on my name, as indeed the highlighted blue names are links :)

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5

Gerard CC on July 21, 2011 at 9:33 pm

Hi John,
Please hold the champagne.
To paraphrase the ghastly-ghoulish Gerry Adams,
“They have not gone away you know”.
Until the FBI and US SEC get the Murdoch clan under the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act, they still have wriggle room.
Well done anyway, great progress and achievement.
Thanks.
GC

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Nhoj on July 21, 2011 at 9:28 pm

JW – Are you giving the Hotel Sofitel the once over. After all you do have a French connection.

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Caratacus on July 21, 2011 at 9:18 pm

I shouldn’t bother with the Samaritans, John – no sense of humour. You ring them up and ask for the Good one and they get very sniffy…..

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Christophe on July 21, 2011 at 9:10 pm

I’ve taken a break from work to focus on this PMT myself, and my approach is to go out and talk to people on the street, elaborating on banned movies and how in the USA we aren’t supposed to have banned information. It’s a bit like going ‘rambling’, as you call it in the UK, and it is very pleasant.

I tell people about how we need to break ourselves from TV’s/movies’/… programming, wherein we all are taught to wait for a ‘chosen’ person to appear. In fact, as soon as you choose to act, you become ‘chosen’, so what’s stopping us all?

There is no need to protest ‘hard’ and get arrested or hurt: we just need to convince more people, that’s all. We could end this in a day if we wanted to.

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Duncan Donuts on July 21, 2011 at 9:04 pm

I recommend a large scotch…and so to bed, John.
G’night.

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