Swift might have been overwhelmed by today’s madness. But he would still want the little people to tie the leaders down.  2012 could be one of those opportunities….

You may think things are bad enough when the markets become bullish about a ‘rescue plan’ which (a) has no money yet (b) isn’t supported by lenders (c) is illegal in Germany (d) is vehemently opposed by Germany’s central bank and (e) has evoked silence from both Merkel and Sarkozy. But imagine what it’s going to be like in 2012.

2012 is the year almost everyone onstage has to try and get re-elected. At the moment, I reckon Nafissatou Diallo could beat Sarkozy. The only way Merkel can stay in power is by cutting off the ClubMeds without a penny. I thought the sudden arrival of both Papandreou and Venizelos in Berlin at the same time this morning had a certain ominous air to it. Words like Czechoslovakia and 1938 came to mind…especially as it looks like Merkel isn’t on speaking terms with anyone at the minute. Are the two Athenians being worked over by Jens Weidmann and Jürgen Stark? Is Merkel being worked over by Jens Weidmann and Jürgen Stark?

And even without the emergence of a single GOP candidate capable of keeping an audience awake, Barack Hussein Obama’s poll ratings look very sick indeed. The EU contagion (at least) will have reached his shores by then, so Odrama will be so busy blaming everyone abroad, there’ll be no time for campaigning. Perhaps this would explain the Democrats’ strategy of getting their man back in by silencing all his online opponents. In which case, Nile Gardiner, you should be very afraid.

Can you even bear to contemplate what a nightmare it’ll be trying to get anything done, with the Franco-German axis turning socialist – and the Americans off to a Tea Party at the other end of the Universe? No, I can’t either. Nobody knows what it might mean, but then nobody knows what this bloke is talking about either:

“The broader economic climate in Europe is bringing uncertainty to decision-making,” said Hernan Cristerna, head of M&A for Europe, the Middle East and Africa at JPMorgan Chase & Co, “New mandates have been coming through, but we are realistic that it might be difficult to execute some of them in the current environment.”

Zo, you haff been executink mandates, huh? Note the link on ‘Africa’ there – just in case you were unsure about its whereabouts.”I’d execute those mandate bastards if only I know where the Goddamn hell Africa is”.

Is this post merely a stream of consciousness? Possibly, but it does have an underlying theme: there is no point trying to hide Page One idiocy behind jargon, or naked political survival bids behind heroic poses, because the citizenry have spotted it, and they spotted it so long ago, they are now bored sh*tless by it.

We are all going to Debt Hell in a handcart, and when the Chinese finally wake up to having nobody to sell to, there will be global debt forgiveness and it will all be over. This is what they will do. Whether the system gets any reform at all is up to us. But I good start would be to go out Gulliver-spotting during 2012.