The Wall Street Journal reports that Beijing has offered the EU ‘rhetorical support’

In a spectacular coup last night, Belgian doggerelist Her VanMan and Portuguese eurobond designer Noway Ho Zhe met with fellow EU taxidermist Wen JiaBao, and managed to get into a picture with the man in person who runs the whole of China gosh.  To mark the occasion, Japanese poet VanMan presented Mr Wen with a signed poem, which ran:

Here we are together joined bat

the sound of curling toes

mine’s a 54 with extra sauce

and

where’s the money?

In a mark of his gratitude for this, Wen JiaBao gave both men his assurance that China views Europe as a main destination for investment as it diversifies its foreign-exchange reserves, but the European bonds are paper tigers, and I can only use so much toilet tissue in a year please.

Later, People’s Bank of China Governor Zhou Xiaochuan joined the meeting, and told the EU beggars visitors that the central bank had full confidence in the euro’s role and its prospects, but was also full of Chinese local government junk, so sorry. Although all the Chinese officials stopped short of offering specific proposals for investing in Europe or buying European assets as such in any particular way, on the way out of Beijing, the taxi driver put forward detailed proposals for a five year Crispy-Duck-for-Kebabs swap, cash only squire, cos it saves on the paperwork.

Flying back on a specially chartered Ryanair Turbopedaloe-144, Mr Noway reverted to his European name of Jose Borrowso to tell media diva Dolly Soyabean, “I think you can be reassured that the outcome of these talks has exceeded even our high anxieties, and it’s downhill all the way from here.”