Well well, what a brave chap young Jimmy Carr turned out to be: unwilling (or intellectually unable) to argue that Cameron is a steaming hypocrite – and if he Jimmy Carr says he’s sorry, then surely Jeremy *unt should resign – the ‘fearless’ standup issued a grovelling apology and said he had made “a grave error of judgement”. What a plonker.
Meanwhile, useless non-job owner Nick Clegg said he had no interest in raising UK educational standards from the bottom of the global barrel if it meant “a return to the bad old days of a two-tier system in which the lower end wind up on the scrap-heap”.
How eloquently Clegg reveals his own bourgeois academic snobbery here. How little he has learned from fifteen years of mediocre students getting an unemployable degree in media studies, when in half the time they could’ve got a technical qualification – and soon thereafter been coining it as electricions, plumbers and chippies. Note how he clings to the largely discredited idea that equality of ability is achievable in education, when a simple IQ test proves that to be complete bollocks.
What are we to make of the news that a member of staff at Camden Council in north London sent out a tersely-written email to staff after Sarah Hayward took over as the new leader of the council last month.
The email, sent on June 12, stated: “Dear All – Any correspondence to Councillor Hayward should be addressed to her as ‘Dear Leader’ or ‘Leader’. Please inform all your staff.” It’s not just the self-important waste of time typing this bit of small-scale personality cult took: it’s also the fact that the author could not herself discern that it was laughably inappropriate in a Western democratic society.
Councillor Hayward herself insisted she had “no knowledge” of the email at the time it was sent, and said she was quite happy being called Sarah.
She said: “It was nothing to do with me and I have no idea what prompted it. I am happy to be called plain old Sarah or anything really as long as it’s not offensive. I hope people are not treating it seriously. It was a well-intentioned mistake.”
No it wasn’t. It was an arse-licking piece of crypto-Soviet drivel.
And finally, Ed Miliband, on being asked what he would do with the NHS, replied, “Repeal all the Lansley reforms immediately”.
It is terrifying to me that this berk is in the lead in the opinion polls at the moment. I have only two questions in the light of his mendaciously stupid answer:
1. Edward my dear, you were asked WTF you would do instead, not how you’d undo it. If you think that a simple return to the unaffordable, overstaffed mess is a solution, then you really are dense beyond belief.
2. I don’t believe you. I have been following UK national politics enthusiastically, God help me, since 1959: and I can tell you that in my lifetime, a following Government has NEVER undone a major reform of the previous administration. Not once. Indeed, they have pretended they might from time to time. But not even the Donkey-jacketed One was barmy enough to say, for example, that he’d rerun the Falklands War and ensure we lost.
Oh dear. The Ed miller Band really does have absolutely no new ideas. But neither does Camerlot. Next on the list of Parliamentary Things To Do:
1. Davd Cameron proposes the right of droit de seigneur be restored to Jeremy Hunt immediately.
2. Nick Clegg to demand that all doctors are sent down the Jam Butty mines until they have learned real solidarity with the working class.
3. Harriet Harman raises a motion at the next Labour Conference for UNITE to be referred to in future as Our Beloved Benefactor.
4. An All-Party Steering Committee will vote to put the future of the NHS into the hands of Simon Cowell, whose judging panel will include Mitt Romney, Vladimir Putin, and the late Harold Shipman.
That is all.
The Slog 