The paedophile net tightens, smokescreen or not. Somebody knew the PM of many years ago rather well. She was hotter under the collar than a Madras curry when she found out who the PM had appointed. Although the Establishment may wish to present all those abused as incorrigible liars, how will they react when one of their own confirms everyone’s worst fears? Tomorrow knows.

The eurozone web of lies becomes more tangled. The ECB is having a bit of a problem with Portugal. The smaller Iberian country is not getting the level of help Spain did, and all the bollocks reasons put up to explain this seem to conflict with the help Greece got. Mario is running out of excuses, but I’m told he is not a man easily bothered by such things: radical heartoctomies are standard procedure for rising Goldman Sachs executives. But word reaches me that further loosening of the Bank of Greed’s collateral requirements has gone down like the proverbial excrement sandwich in Lisbon. I would like to take this opportunity, by the way, of assuring everyone that, to the best of my knowledge, Mario Draghi has never abused any children ever anywhere.

Known consequences and the Norwegian oil output. This release from Global Markets Forex today: ‘Norway’s 2012 crude production is expected to miss official targets due to planned maintenance and technical problems on several fields, after crude production came in 12% below expectations in October and 15% short of projections in September.’ Funny how ‘planned’ maintenance still reduces output by a whopping 13.5% average. Look to the near East from Norway for reasons why such planned shortfalls occurred.

No known paedophiles were harmed in the production of this innuendo. No known paedophiles were employed in our factory. Warning: may contain paedophiles.