There’s an absolute belter of a flappy-bottomed quote in the Times today from Lord McScalpine’s tame oik Andrew Reid. The unpleasant head of Olympic Gold Medal ambulance-chase winners RMPI is reported to have said, “I am still hopeful that we will be able to reach a sensible agreement to settle this matter with the second set of solicitors instructed by Mrs Bercow, without the need to proceed to a trial”.

I bet you are, chummy. After all, we don’t want any Court costs eating into Ali’s margins now, do we? It wouldn’t do for all those thoroughly deserving kiddy abuse charities to go without eh – what think you, what-what?

However, the bit that intrigues me in his woffle is the ‘second set of solicitors’ bitchy jibe clearly designed to suggest that Mrs B is a daft bint who can’t make up her tiny mind. This may well be true (I’ve never met the lady) but I’d obviously missed a trick here: I didn’t realise that Carter-F*ck had only been engaged following a possible case of spineless ‘just give in’ gibberish from the first set of vultures she consulted.

It makes me all the more certain that La Bercow is made of sterner stuff than I’d at first realised. I was put right on this matter two weeks ago by one of her chums, to whom I now also unreservedly apologise. Stick it to the bastards Sal, they don’t like it up ’em.