Still approximately 24 years behind the music, Ed Miliband has said it is “not wrong or prejudiced” to worry about immigration. Given his Party has only just started being concerned about it at all (now the country is roughly 20% overpopulated) it does beg the question “What does not worrying about immigration suggest about a person?” But that’s politics today: Ed is lurching to the Right and Dave is lurching to the Right, so by Election Day Labour will be in the middle and the Conservatives will be off the scale. The Liberal Democrats, I’d imagine, will remain in the same place: nowhere.

Somehow, Nick Clegg (left) has turned the seemingly constructive occupation of nowhere into an artform. His role exists in nowhere, his Party is nowhere in the polls, nowhere is there evidence of a single useful thing he has done since taking power, and yet he can give a speech about the LibDems being a Party of power – an idea in itself plucked out of nowhere – and get applause everywhere. But today, his rank and file decided once more to be a Party of protest: they quite rightly rejected the leadership’s spineless support for the new Justice and Security Bill, which left the Leader himself with a lot of Clegg on his face.

Of course, Nick really has several faces, a factor enabling him to look in opposite directions without serious neck injury. His Business Minister Vince Cable only has one face (sour) but he does have the irritating habit of being proved right. Now Vinny is calling for more infrastructural investment and, this being off message, Clegg today called for Party Unity in the same sentence as creating disunity by condemning Cable’s unfortunate attachment to his principles. Not for nothing did Harold Macmillan suggest that the collective noun for political leaders should be ‘a lack’…as in, a lack of principals.

As if to prove Supermac’s witty observation, the LibDem leader yesterday heaped praise upon the truly ghastly Chris Huhne, describing him as “an effective MP”. I would also like to point out that Hitler was an effective anti-Semite, Idi Amin an effective cannibal, and Angela Merkel an effective Youth Leader in the DDR.

Today, we have unprincipled principals who no longer behave like principals. It’s what you might call a Double Shammy, and there can be no greater sham than the lip service being paid to our Establishment paedophile problem….while doing absolutely nothing to purge it. For perhaps the first time since The Slog began, I must applaud The Star’s front page lead this morning, in that it correctly states how ‘….efforts to tackle modern slavery in the UK, including the sexual exploitation of children, are in a state of crisis…The Centre for Social Justice (CSJ) has attacked the Government for its “inadequate response” to the issue after an investigation by the independent think-tank uncovered a “shocking underworld” of human trafficking.’

Perhaps we should ask Slick Nick to do something effective re this one. A good start would be for him to ring up the Crown Prosecution Service, and ask somebody senior there about the timescale on arresting former Clegg chums in relation to child trafficking at Rocks Lane under the helpful auspices of Richmond Council.

For more about the Shocking Underworld of political paedophilia, go to The Paedofile