It’s been a rum sort of day, to say the least of it. Having injured my left shoulder lifting stuff in the garden last week, I was today learning how to cope with only one usable arm, when a garden knife snapped shut on the index finger of my right hand. So it will not surprise you to learn that this piece is being typed via the use of noses and toeses.
Although the image to your left here might look like the visual clue to an insidious ransom demand, it is in fact a close-up of my right hand index finger. I will lead you through the legend as follows:
1. Hand
2. String tourniquet hastily applied during full death-fear panic phase of flood-like bleeding
3. Baby-food spoon acting as splint to bend finger and thus stem blood flow following restoration of left-cortex rational control.
4. Emergency use of second plastic spoon during panic restoration stage, held on by duct tape cut to shape with teeth.
5. Disused eye-mask seized upon as by drowning man clutching at straw in order to bind whole together.
6. Oven containing slow-cooked boeuf bourgignon which wasn’t massively important just then, but was consumed later.
Thus, if Slogposts seem a little shorter but more incompetently typed than normal over the next few days, I would ask for your understanding.
The Slog 