The Iron Duke will be a hard act to follow

Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh KG KT PC OM GBE AC ONZ QSO GCL CC CMM PC AdC is the husband of Queen Elizabeth II. He is the Commonwealth realms’ longest-serving consort, and the oldest ever spouse of a reigning British monarch. He was born 10th June 1921 on the island of Corfu, which means that he will be 92 years old next Monday. If, that is, he makes it through the weekend. For the Duke of Edinburgh has been admitted to the London Clinic for an exploratory operation following abdominal investigations. He is expected to stay in hospital for up to two weeks.

I know this may not be the time to make jokes, but I did have to laugh when I went to a foreign Royalist site the other day – for entirely unrelated reasons – and read the entry, “Prince Philip was born in 1921 in Greece at the age of 91 years”. That must’ve been extremely painful for his mum, and very probably the longest gestation in human history. However, the word back from the outermost rings of Planet Windsor is that the portents aren’t good re this latest admission to hospital. So it gives me the opportunity to assess how the next Act of British Decline will pan out.

I’ve never met Prince Philip, but I did once witness a conversation between him and a flunkie. I have to say, I was less than impressed. Others since that time have confirmed to me that he is a very rude man indeed. Whichever way you cut it (and I’m broadly in favour of the Royal Family as a tourist attraction) Phil the Greek does give one the impression before he even opens his incontinent gob that he’s probably in favour not just of reinstating fox hunting, but also of legalising peasant shoots. He is without question a bully who badgered Charles into marrying Diana, and then spent the next ten years moaning about how wet she was.

However, the DoE has a role in our national life as A Bit of a Lad – on two counts. First, he has said his piece about pretty much everything he dislikes, a trait which, on the whole, has at worst tickled me – and at best made me consider bearing his children. But second, he enjoys (if that’s the right verb) something of a reputation for swording the pork. My first mother-in-law was well-connected enough to affirm that the Royal Prince insisted in his prime on having willing ladies on tap. Older retirees from the BBC confirm this, specifically in relation to newsreaders, next to whom he often laid anchor.

The sexual estrangement of the Royal Couple, once a profusion of heirs had been produced, was rather embarrassingly demonstrated early on Friday morning, July 9, 1982, when Queen Elizabeth II woke to find a strange man sitting at the end of her bed. Oddly enough, it wasn’t her husband, but one Michael Fagan. Mr Fagan later went on to recount an hilarious version of the encounter, but it didn’t include any mention of Philipalot riding in on a white charger to rescue his Missus.

The relevance of all this nonsense is to remind us that the Queen and her consort may not be with us much longer, but their eldest son probably will be. And despite the somewhat distant relationship the future Charles III has with his father, he has inherited a lot of the old boy’s not entirely likeable traits. While Charles has avoided bullying either of his sons (and seems to me as near as damnit a model parent) he has Philip’s big mouth…but lacks the irascible old one’s appreciation of the role of the monarchy in British government.

I find myself particularly disturbed by Charles’s close relationship with the security services. There seems to me here evidence of a lack of wisdom, and the impression isn’t helped by his views on modern architecture. I don’t mind a monarch rubbishing insensitive design, but Prince Charles offers no alternative beyond naff, low-brow reversions to a mock Georgian past. The Poundbury carbuncle of Royal Disneyland does make one wonder just what kind of King he’s going to make

For my money – and I make this observation with no little sadness – I increasingly think that the Prince of Wales will be lucky to be crowned at all. The game-changer now clearly heading our way could very easily evoke a widespread social desire to reject any and all symbols of a Ruling Class. The necks that should really be in close connection with lamp-post rope are those of the pension-embezzling progress blockers in Whitehall. But they are much lower profile: an arrogant new Prince would represent a much bigger and easier target.

An institution which – just 35 years ago – was the subject of genuine affection and even rejoicing has somehow managed since then to join the ranks of those spinners and dissemblers who wish only to hide from the citizen electorate what the real state of affairs is. Prince Philip has been a clever member of the Royal firm: a bit of a bloke who speaks his mind. George V had the same street-wise view of what modern royalty should be. Once the Corfu Climber has gone, the nous dies with him. Once his much admired Queen has expired, it’s difficult to see a focus of respect to which the British people can cleave.

Earlier at The Slog: News of Bashar Assad’s demise in Syria has been greatly exaggerated