Owen Paterson, the environment secretary, is facing a backlash after suggesting that developers should be allowed to bulldoze historic woods to make way for new homes if they promise to plant trees elsewhere. (Sunday Telegraph)
The newly planted trees are to be grafted onto politicians, and will thus be mobiles enough to be placed near the especially gaping ozone hole created by Co2 emission from Westminster, Washington, Brussels, Berlin etc etc.
A woman has told how she had to go to hospital after she couldn’t stop having an orgasm for three hours. Known only as Liz, the woman from Seattle was taken to the emergency room by her partner, Eric, when she continued to orgasm hours after they stopped having sex. When the pleasure stopped being enjoyable, Liz tried jumping up and down then drinking wine in attempt to calm herself down. (Independent on Sunday)
After receiving treatment, Liz complained of a headache.
Twice as many people were kept waiting for more than six weeks for crucial cancer tests last year than before the Coalition took office, according to government figures. More than 5,200 patients were still waiting for tests after six weeks, the official limit, last October, compared with 2,500 at the same point in the autumn of 2009. (Sunday Telegraph)
Speaking at a rally for the Baroness Nettlebrain Super-Bupa Fund, Health Secretary Jeremy Punt said that the Government’s strategy of reducing waiting lists through the medium of Death was definitely bearing fruit.
Monty Panesar allegedly invited a blonde backpacker to his room after exchanging messages with the girl on Tinder. Panesar was dropped by England after playing poorly against Australia in Melbourne. (Mail on Sunday)
Mr Panesar later confirmed that his delivery of balls to middle wicket was as good as ever.
The Abbey Clancy dressing room raid was among many BBC thefts totalling more than £500,000 over the past 12 months. The Strictly Come Dancing champion was among dozens of celebrities, contributors, staff and visitors targeted in 183 thefts from the BBC reported to police from across the country. (Sunday People)
The Police reported that they had excellent alibis for this and all other crimes against the BBC, and remained confident that the same would go for any and all defendants gratuitously charged with spurious offences by a coven of paedophile Communists at the BBC.
Earlier at The Slog: Good news for radicals: 1 in 5 mainstream voters are disillusioned
The Slog 