John Ward March 22, 2014 At the End of the Day

At the End of the Day

I have a very brief observation to make tonight, and the usual asterisks will not apply, for reasons which should become obvious. If you don’t like the word shit, look away now.

People only rarely ask me about the difference between bullshit, horseshit and shitforbrains, but I’m going to tell you anyway because, as my brain is constructed from that Kryptonite shit, I know everything.

Horseshit is the stuff put forward by people of very high intelligence who would believe any old shit science, given half a chance. They are naively dangerous folks with shit where their common sense should be.

Bullshit is the stuff put out by people of sociopathic criminality in order to rationalise an unspeakably dastardly scheme to obtain more power and money for them. They are cunningly dangerous arseholes who get up to all kinds of shit we don’t know about, and shift position faster than shit off a shovel.

Shitforbrains is what about 55% of voters and 20% of non-voters have where their cerebral tissue should be. They don’t understand from shit about anything, and they watch vast quantities of shit on television most days.

The Shitforbrains don’t give a shit about any shit except shit food and having enough money each month to pay for shit. They can’t get their shit together, and so usually respond well to bribery shit from politicians, after which the politicians shit on them for another five years. Their lives consist of being in the shit, and one step away from the shit hitting the fan so copiously, shit-shovelling would be the only option left.

The bullshitters tell everyone that all other strategies are chickenshit, and those who say don’t give me that shit try to oppose the bullshit with with more horseshit. Thus the bullshitters insist to the Shitforbrains that they can get them out of the shit, and the shitforbrains say No Shit? and the bullshitters say Would I shit you? and the shitforbrains say Holy Shit Waynetta, we’ll be happier than pigs in shit.

Unfortunately, it is an unescapable fact that shit happens, and so when the bullshit fails to deliver on shit, the Shitforbrains turn to belief in the horseshit. And that’s when it all really turns to shit.

Thank you, sleep well, and try not to dream about bad shit.

Recently at The Slog: Why we’re all up shit creek without a paddle

23Comments

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1

A Week at The Slog | The Slog. on March 23, 2014 at 9:09 pm

[…] Towards a general theory of shit […]

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2

CB on March 23, 2014 at 3:12 pm

I can’t think of anything worth a shit to say other than all please take a look at this guy Cooper’s writings which are succinct and on thread. As we all live the magic of voodoo economics http://philosophyofmetrics.com/ is an excellent real time commentary. No shit.

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3

Lupulco on March 23, 2014 at 2:42 pm

Really good article JW, no shit.
I have a question, my wife of many years who is due to celebrate her 65th Birthday, decided to something different.
She joined, what she thought was a parachute club, when I read it, it said that she was a member of a prostitute club.
When I pointed this fact out to her, also that she had signed up for 5 jumps a month, I now have a dilemma.
Should I send her to Specsavers? and if I use the money she gets for her 5 jumps a month, will I be living on immoral earnings?

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4

OyiaBrown on March 23, 2014 at 1:40 pm

Reblogged this on Oyia Brown.

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5

alsmyth on March 23, 2014 at 11:24 am

Mr Ward, you really are ‘the shit’ (Which I believe is an American slang term for ‘the very best’) PS can we have a post on your thoughts about the ‘English Royal Elite’ and how they need a massive haircut to save the UK from becoming a third world country?

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6

kfc1404 on March 23, 2014 at 11:12 am

Planning to stay in the EU and keep the Euro? Really?

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7

Iain on March 23, 2014 at 10:56 am

No doubt lots of sh**** will fly when the first haircuts occur.

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8

GrahamD on March 23, 2014 at 8:31 am

At the risk of going O/T, here is a piece of serious incoming shit that seems totally off the Western Media’s radar…..or unreported on purpose perhaps. Russia Today have been running a story for the past week about a referendum….No, not the one in Crimea….The one where the results are now out and the good people of the State of Venice have decided to no longer pay any taxes to Rome and to re declare themselves back to a separate state as before Napolian invaded them. Interestingly they plan to remain in the EU and also to keep the Euro.

Following the vote, they are starting to set this up at once….needless to say, the new Italian Central Govt takes a dim view of this as the State of Venice is a large net contributer into the Italian Economy. The implications of all this for both Scotland and Catalonia is considerable…..ditto the Spanish economy if the Catalonians use this as a precident. Story on RT website…Western MSM seems rather constipated on this one, to maintain todays theme !

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9

kfc1404 on March 23, 2014 at 6:43 am

Anybody spot this frm ZH?

EU Agrees Banking Union – Bail-Ins Cometh …
In the early hours of yesterday morning European Union politicians struck a deal on legislation to create a single agency to handle failing banks and bail-ins in the Eurozone after another all night negotiating marathon ahead of a summit of EU leaders starting in Brussels today.
German Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble was drawn into the talks around 0530 GMT as the negotiations dragged on into the night. The politicians emerged around 0715 GMT with the deal, which now will need formal approval by the European Parliament and by national governments.

Negotiators persuaded nations that had been opposed to the proposed Single Resolution Mechanism and the legislation for bail-ins to agree.

Insolvent banks will be treated equally regardless of the country they are based in. Failed banks creditors, both bond holders and depositors, will be subject to bail-ins in the same way in all countries.

“It’s a very good agreement,” European Central Bank President Mario Draghi said before the meeting of EU leaders in the Belgian capital. The banking union was shaped in part by Draghi and he hailed the compromise plan as “great progress for a better banking union. Two pillars are now in place.”

Plans for a single banking union were put together two years ago due to fears for the euro and the EU’s 6,000 banks. Countries wanted to break the link between sovereigns and insolvent banks to ensure taxpayers were not forced to bail out insolvent banks and to prevent contagion and a systemic crisis.

It had already been agreed that shareholders and importantly now depositors will be bailed in before the single resolution fund can be tapped. About 100 banks plus transnationals and those already bailed out will come under the direct supervision of the ECB from January.

While most of the coverage is on the European Union member states and the European Parliament agreeing the final details of a single resolution mechanism (SRM) to wind up failing banks, there is little coverage of the developing bail-in regimes and the heightened risk that depositors in the Eurozone now face.

Banks in the Eurozone remain extremely vulnerable. Our research on bail-ins and the developing bail-in regimes clearly shows how banks remain very vulnerable and it is now the case that in the event of bank failure, your deposits could be confiscated as happened in Cyprus.
It is important to realise that not just the EU but also the UK, the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand and most G20 nations all have plans for bail-ins in the event that banks and other large financial institutions get into difficulty.

The coming bail-ins will pose real challenges and risks to investors and of course depositors – both household and corporate. Return of capital, rather than return on capital will assume greater importance.
Evaluating counterparty risk and only using the safest banks, investment providers and financial institutions will become essential in order to protect and grow wealth.

It is important that one owns physical coins and bars, legally in your name, outside the banking system. Paper or electronic forms of gold investment should be avoided as they along with cash deposits could be subject to bail-ins.

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10

kfc1404 on March 23, 2014 at 6:28 am

Life is like a Shit Sandwhich, the more bread you’ve got, the less shit you eat.

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11

reg on March 23, 2014 at 6:24 am

good shut!

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12

GrandPa on March 23, 2014 at 3:06 am

No shit!
ZH has posted “Britons rate Russia more positively than EU, poll shows”
@ http://news.yahoo.com/britons-rate-russia-more-positively-eu-poll-shows-003103687.html;_ylt=AwrTWfx3PS5TkwEAwQHQtDMD

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13

the ghost on March 23, 2014 at 12:55 am

So a highly intelligent sociopath who likes Music is someone to stay well clear off,without a close peck on your nose

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14

failedevolution on March 23, 2014 at 12:41 am

A class war culmination after the euro-elections

Neoliberal dictatorship in Greece is ready to take new cruel suppression measures to finish the experiment

http://goo.gl/9zsS1B

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15

Sackerson on March 23, 2014 at 12:02 am

Reminds me of the German’ sentry’s watch call: “Halt, oder ich scheisse!”

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16

Hieronimusb on March 23, 2014 at 12:01 am

Looks like the excremental hit the exponential… a scatological stampede! No, a turd driven tour de force! (got any more of that shit? ;)

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17

Nick Riley on March 22, 2014 at 11:40 pm

That’s the best shit I’ve had in years

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18

Peter J. Nickitas on March 22, 2014 at 11:29 pm

John has added really neat shit to George Carlin’s monumental essay on all that shit.

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19

Caratacus on March 22, 2014 at 10:57 pm

As frequently happens, John, you have jarred a long-forgotten piece of poetry …

“When me prayers are poorly said, who tucks me in me little bed and spanks me ’til me arse is red, me mudder.
Who would me hair so gently part, and hug me close up to her heart, and sometimes squeeze me til me fart, me mudder.
Who looked at me with eyebrows knit, and nearly had a king size fit, when in me Sunday pants me shit, me mudder.
When at night the bed did squeak, me raised me head to take a peek, who yelled at me ” go back to sleep”, me fadder”.

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20

GrandPa on March 22, 2014 at 10:47 pm

The absolute definition of nothing:
A turd on the side of the road with the shit kicked out of it.

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21

Zen on March 22, 2014 at 10:46 pm

Sad Human Internet Therapy?

:-)

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22

jdseanjd on March 22, 2014 at 10:33 pm

That’s some great shit you got there, man, I shit you not.

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23

bagerap on March 22, 2014 at 10:22 pm

Just shooting the shit again JW?

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