In the aftermath of the Iron lady, the only thing at work in our electoral system is irony

Margaret Thatcher ‘freed’ the City to run riot. She never really liked Europe, but she did at least beat up those in charge, and make clear that Britain was not for churning. Gordon Brown enthusiastically embraced the City’s freedom, and is the cyclopian globalist sans pareil: but he did at least keep us out of the euro. Thus we must thank the two most comprehensively stupid British social wreckers of the last half-century for saving us from the worst of the Eunacy.

And if you think that’s ironic, then trust me – it doesn’t get much more ironic than this: poll research shows that the most pro-European Westminster grouping – the Liberal Democrats – is felt by the Party’s own election planners to be about to have its European Parliamentary representation completely wiped out. Zapped, nullified, and reduced to zero.

Forgive me here: is it me, or isn’t it surely the UK’s more pro-EU folks – in their naive enthusiasm – who vote in these largely irrelevant elections to the EU? And if such be the case, doesn’t this suggest that there must be an awesome number of LibDem supporters, who once believed in the EU, now feeling so strongly enough about what sheisters the LibDem Coalitioneers are, they’re prepared to vote them out of political existence in their own precious EU Parliament?

There are warnings of a “cratering” of support across the country: the vote in the East Midlands, for example, is forecast to decimate – from 130,000 to 13,000. And this echoes polling which places the LibDems fourth behind the UK Independence Party, Labour, and the Tories. The first UK party to suggest joining the Common Market in 1956 now faces the near-certainty of coming last in the European Union election of 2014. Time wounds all heels.

But there are many further upturned realities in this New World Disorder. Another is the idea of a Conservative Party (felt by its more extreme members to be not nearly eurosceptic enough) winning more votes in an Election to the European Parliament than a rabidly europhile Party whose members think it has sold out to that very same eurosceptic Party. That’s not an irony my friends; that one is a massive seam of irony ore just waiting to be converted into the cold blue steel of satire.

A further glimpse into the looking glass (yesterday’s Times) pointed up yet another oddity: that EU election-defection from Labour to UKip (a Party formed to be more eurosceptic than the Conservatives) is so big, Labour may yet come third behind the Tories and UKip. Thus the two biggest losers in a European election could be the Parties most likely (based on current UK election polling numbers) to form the next Coalition….and keep us come what may in the EU that fewer and fewer of us want. As Churchill once remarked, “Democracy is merely the least damaging form of government available”.

Working class bigotry about immigrants and Abroad has always made it an important lever for Nigel Farage: whatever he says in public, in private he is considerably more enthusiastic about the likelihood of stealing votes from the bottom end of Labour’s IQ. Once again, however, one is struck (not to say poleaxed with laughter) at this final surreality via which an ex-City trader attracts votes from the one social group most damaged by bourse dysfunction.

What does this serial sitcom-soap of serendipity tell us? Quite a few things, actually. People have short memories; a large minority of the electorate know not WTF they are at; the old Party lines are so irrelevant, even the slightest glimmer of the world outside Britain being introduced into the mix produces something out of a Swiftian fantasy; Labour is an irretrievably split Party consisting of bourgeois fluffies and downmarket fascists who privately loathe each other; the Opposition to neoliberalism is splintered, but faced with a solid bulwark of neolibs whose shared values of harsh reality, greed and selfishness are such, one can barely put a rice paper between them; and above all, when an oligarchy loses touch with the citizenry, nothing they do makes any kind of socio-economic or cultural sense.

I know that Bob Dylan once sang “And the first ones now in the end will be last”, but I don’t think he had the revival of Nazism in mind.

Six or more years ago, I used to get snotty emails from self-appointed historians; you know – the ones that always said, somewhere early on in bold, “Comparisons to Hitler’s Germany are risible cliches put about by those with no vision”. Do you know, it’s a funny thing, but I don’t get them any more.

Ever since the creeping drift from European Economic Community to Economic Community to European Union (none of which received a scintilla of approval from the misled, mistake-making citizens) the EU has been a Third Reich waiting to happen. Not only is it now led by Germany, but Germany’s finance minister – a human wheelie-bin who issues diktats to other nations forbidding elections – is about to be handed the purse strings of the entire euromess.

Luckily for Wolfie, like Hitler he has is own Hjalmar Schacht in the shadows – the Italian Rapscallion Mario Draghi: conjuror, obfuscator, fraudster, and Goldman graduate par excellence. And just as Adolf needed Poland as a distraction from his banker’s ponzi scheme, so too Schäuble and his chums decided on Ukraine as the next suitable subject for eurofication. Unfortunately, there is now a new Stalin called Putin….and he has no need of any help from Russian winters.

So we move to the final irony….the irony of ironies, the irony to end all ironies that is so anciently ironic, it is covered in rust. Both in Britain and abroad, almost none of the major Parties will even contemplate giving up on the European dream. But Brussels has fashioned a nightmare from a dream, fulfilling all of Hitler’s ideas with even less democracy than was available in the Third Reich. And so the one respite for those who recognise what’s gone wrong is to go along with the only politicians who oppose this uber-Nazi result: and by force of Establishment arrogance, they’re all various shades of unter-Nazi.

Yes voters, it’s more of that neoliberal choice. You can have whichever form of democracy you want, uber-Nazi big State corporatocracy, or unter-Nazi Xenophobocracy. But is has to be an acy, because there’s no alternative. There isn’t you know…there really isn’t. Chicken Licken said so, and Chicken Licken is never wrong.

From Utopian fantasies come dystopian realities. Old lesson still not learned by those who find history boring.

Last night at The Slog: Camping Car II