The Slog isn’t voting. But even an abstainer has to regard the anti-UKip bias as disgraceful

Right across the continent, we’ll all be voting to ensure the continuing good health of this, our Greatest European Project (Gestapo). And it’s looking like a close contest, with lots of lively insults, fraud, apparent mysteries, and dirty tricks….a fight to the finish, in fact. Or more accurately, the beginning of the end. The Slog looks at the real and unreal lead-up to the elections…and finds himself, however grudgingly, feeling sorry for UKip.

There was much baffled discussion in the Financial District of Twitter yesterday about two apparently contradictory data feeds: that on the one hand the Dutch are spending less in shops, but on the other their happiness quotient seems to be on the rise.

There really is no need to be puzzled by any of this: indeed, the bafflement itself is based on ignorance about the core values of Dutch culture. It was a French restaurateur with a basic caff on the N21 here in Lot et Garonne who said to me some eight years ago, “The Dutch spend nothing here…they make their f**king Gouda cheese and sandwiches last until Marbella”. The Dutch are never happier than when they’re not spending money, and good for them. Another data mystery is solved.

If UKip ever becomes the Government of Britain, Chancer of the Decade Gideon Bonrose said yesterday afternoon, every firstborn child will be slain with the assbone of Nigel Farage’s jaw. This much alone was certain about UKip he said, “although in every other way they are woefully wishy-washy, and supported by that idiot, Wilfrid Washy-Woeful.

Nick Clegg said he deplored “the way in which Farage has brought the Rotten Borough back to England’s squeaky-clean political culture” by using beer as a form of “barely legal electoral bribery”.

Wilfrid Washy-Woeful/Took a stroll down to his local

Where he heard a chap quite vocal/buying pints to make him focal

to a Harem very Procul/ of some faces rather scrotal.

After that he was in total/to the UKip cause devotal.

Later, UKip’s press office was forced to deny charges of incompetence in not even being able to win a Borough that was Rotten in their favour. Judge Norman Stanley Fletcher said that he was confident Mr Farage was grooming a Nation, but this was entirely a matter for the jury and he mustn’t interfere.

Let’s get real for a minute about today: the issue is primarily EU – Yes or No…but underlying it is the British fear of Abroad, and all things multicultural. There is no logical reason to fear abroad unless it invades us. And so far, we have only been invaded by by a fascist cult within Islam that is keen to take advantage of our bonkers cultural tolerance. But multiculturalism has been an abject failure, and speaking for myself, I regard all the religiously observant as victims of the religiously fervent. Most of the original prophets had the right idea, but they left behind an open door for the control freaks.

Now if one blogs about this regularly, one is written off by the Left as a racist. But at the same time, I have attracted more than my fair share of loopy-loos over the years. So it’s hardly surprising that UKip does too.

Lest we forget, the Mail is by far the most successful news website, and its main appeal is indeed to those who (justifiably) feel shunned by the élite, and labelled as racist purely because they feel our island culture is being slagged off too much….as do I. But it will never make me A Daily Mail Reader….or a UKip voter.

In fact, I’ve decided the search should begin for the Best Dacre Mail Website Headline of the Year. It doesn’t have to be real (most of the real ones are surreal anyway) but merely in keeping with the site’s penchant for lowest common denominator tag-shagging. This genuwine one from yesterday – ‘Horrific burns suffered by Filipino maid after Saudi boss ‘threw boiling water at her’ which have caused storm among country’s servants’ – is a good template in that it contains all the key features: racist hate, cruelty, violence, inverted commas to excuse the minimal accuracy, and median illiteracy.

For instance, looking at today’s mass media garbage, a good line would be ‘Tory rethink on fining parents if children abused by sex perverts after Islamist illegal immigrants slips through net to become Head of Immigration’ would fit the bill quite nicely. Another might be ‘Illegal Indian Elephant what was kept in damp cellar by coke-snorting top Tory “ignored for over three years to hoodwink the gullible” says fascist Blog-nutter Ward’.

Back in the allegedly real world, a Tory euro-campaign email signed by none other than Doris Jobsdone, Head Praetorian Goddess for Londinium, is offering the following advice to voters in today’s election: ‘The polls are open until 10 pm, so you could pop in after a quick post-work trip to the pub’.

The evil Doris – a Slog devotee I understand – has clearly clocked my correlative equation on the subject of daft voting and being pissed. The Slog is, as far as I know, the only site to have attempted a scientific cross-analysis between voting by time of day and numbers of daily alcohol abusers by degree and by time of day. The Conservative Party must be getting desperate if it thinks the only way to keep up its support.

I remain fascinated (as per yesterday’s blog) by the easy ride being given to Ed Miliband in relation to running a euro-campaign 100% free of content about the EU. The more I ask around about this, the more I get the sense that the Eye’s anti-UKip Number Ten deal with the media is spot-on. Above all, it proves that the true Establishment in Britain – by which I mean Whitehall, globalists, banks, media owners and Westminster – wants to stay in the EU  BBCgive the impression of having reformed it.

These page-captures from today’s Torygraph make the point rather vividly, I think:

Not exactly what you’d call ‘balanced’ is it? In sequence, Vote UKip & give more power to Brussels, UKip will be useless in EU Assembly, look how bonkers that other Far Right bloke Le Pen is, Big anti-EU vote will make things worse for Britain, EU exit will plunge us into another crisis, Polish Far Right are nutters too, and what the EU has done for us really.

Despite myself, I hope UKip polls an unexpectedly high number, and gives these gargoyle bullies a bloody good drubbing.

Earlier at The Slog: Dementia Friends will make it easier for the pols to forget about a cure