The BBC has been telling us today that Fifa ‘is facing fresh allegations of corruption’. I think there’s a lot of journalistic inexactitude in that assertion, given that Fifa has been running like the clappers away from allegations for so long now, they are anything but fresh. But ever ahead of the game, the Beeb further revealed Fifa’s ‘controversial decision to award the 2022 World Cup to Qatar’.

I think we all need to accept at this point that announcing the 2022 World Cup Champions in 2014 must surely be a bridge too far: it seems to me that the tournament is going to lack suspense if – even before a ball is kicked – we know that the Qataris are going to win.

Meanwhile, undeterred by the growing evidence that Sepp Blatter is both a crook and an anagram of ‘pps, bet later’, the English footie side left for Brazil today. A comedian dressed in the same squad suit and vacant expression wasn’t spotted as an imposter until just before take-off. England manager Roy Hodges declared himself “delighted by the boy’s invention, and use of the channels prior to the byline cross”.

David Donegan, by contrast, was much more concerned about same-sex marriage being the next step on the road to human beings marrying pigs. Yes, it’s today’s Let’s Slag Off UKip entry, Mr Donegan being “a UKip supporter in Newark”, the by election seat being contested as I write. One grows tired of these perpetual Bonkers-UKip stories, although their apparent credibility is, let’s face it, given an assist by Nigel Farage pledging to scrap taxes for the rich and the poor. So it looks like the middle is footing yet more of the bill then.

Doesn’t feel like much of a radical change to me, although Farrago himself does seem to have undergone quite a profound change of over the last year.

In the immediate aftermath of the Mad Handbag’s demise in 2013, Nigel declared himself to be the only radical left who remained true to her ambition. Yesterday, however, the UKip leader was at pains to say that Maggie was “of her time” and that UKip would not be defined by her ideas alone.

Call my wacky, but that feels a little inconsistent to me. But then, inconsistency and double standards are nothing new. In Spain yesterday the better to sink his newly-sharpened teeth into the Iberian neck, James Daniel (the man in charge of the IMF’s mission in Spain) declared that “The people must pay” if they want to maintain the current levels of public services.

But as the Testosterone Pit site points out, as an employee of the IMF,  Mr Daniel pays no income taxes to any country anywhere, ever.

Equally, newly marrieds in Manchester paid little or no notice of the marriage vows they’d just declared, engaging in a punch-up at the reception that resulted in both Bride & Groom spending their wedding night in the cells. Hearing about stories like that one, it is a relief to see that the Queen at least has her eye on the ball, or rather the bees: she is to fund grants from £500 to £1,000 to encourage people to set up beehives. Gawd bless yer Ma’am, for at least grasping the central role played by bees in our species food chain.

But finally, if – out of keeping with almost everyone else – you’re looking for the best log houses in the Dordogne area, then the ever-relevant Torygraph is there for you: