New research conducted by the International Multicultural Fluffies team at Aston University suggests that, in the light of contemporary economic beliefs, 97% of voters are incurably masochist.
In a press release issued to the Dudley Gleaner this morning, IMF team members cited the following as key indicators of the accuracy of their findings:
* People are paying twice as much in real terms to watch Premiership football that gets less interesting with each year, and for which the players are paid up to £250k a week. But 57% of spectators think Rupert Murdoch is “a great broadcaster presenting what the People want to watch an’ there’s none of dem Marxists at Sky innit?”
* Those in retirement with savings have received on average 0.75% interest from banking institutions since 2009, paid to bail out the jerks who lost all the money, and are not particularly upset by the idea of £500K bonuses for bankers. The German economy has joined the recessed gentlefolk of euroland, and so the markets have made it even cheaper for Berlin to borrow money at minute bond yield rates.
* Official figures released this week show categorically that the vast majority of Britons have seen their wages fall in real terms, while the 5% of top earners have seen their take-home wedge nearly double. These same people have also watched the goofy disaster area that is The Ed Miller Band tweet 24/7 banality and pick reassuring welfare numbers out of the air at random. And these same people have watched a BBC Panorama programme evidentially accuse UKip leader Nigel Barrage of everything nasty not quite including bestiality. A poll taken last night shows that, of those intending to vote in 2015, 25% would vote Tory, 25% Labour, and 25% UKip.
* A Brit who who earns £12,000 a year – barely a living wage in many parts of the country – hands over £1 in 3 to the Revenue, despite the Government’s blatant lie about taking the poor out of taxation. The NI contribution has been renamed ‘Earnings tax’ and then ignored in the figures….while of course also releasing Westminster from any and all responsibility for welfare provision. The Conservative Party plans to cut inheritance taxes for the better off as an election bribe in the next Budget. But 50% of the electorate are going to vote for more of the same, and 25% won’t be voting at all.
* Allegedly nearly 60% of comment threaders at articles in the Daily Mail, Telegraph, Guardian and Express have experienced blatant censorship of comments not in line with the titles’ owners. Two weeks ago, the Prime Minister announced the formation of a new crime, “non-violent extremism” which could include anyone questioning the lies we have been fed about Syria, Ukraine and ISIS. In France, it is already a criminal offence to suggest that any banking institution might have debt and/or derivative problems….which they all do have. The Labour Party does not oppose any of this, and UKip’s leader has said he doesn’t want any banking regulators at all. Yet 75% of those voting will place a cross next to the three Parties, and 41% of French voters wouldn’t get rid of the EU at any price.
Commenting on the findings, UKip supporter Brian Dead opined, “Thus juss goes to show that UKip is the only ‘ope for us darn the bottom and even though Mr Farrago is a City wide-boy oo dunt give two fifs of a shit for no one, it’s the Party I’m votin’ for, not the leaders an that f**kin’ Marxist BBC bollocks was a typical smear of Mr Cabbage it wuzz all stuff we’d seen before and just you wait.”
The Slog 