We awoke this morning to a landscape frozen hard by nine degrees of frost.

But as the morning progressed – and a feeble sun poked through the thin cloud – the hard landscape turned into a quite incredible softness of white:

Friends Jon and Trina left this morning, but not before they had tried in vain to understand the Asperger’s mind when it comes to selecting a shot, attaching it to an email, and then sending it via a Samsung Android. The puzzlement starts here:

“Look, it’s dead simple really, all I have to do is press this button here and no that’s not it is it, what if I press that one there, um, where the f**k is share….”

And continued to the next stage of frustration…

“……right, I remember now – if I compose first and then atta….where the f**k is ‘attach’….?”

Conclusive proof that it isn’t just me. Jon eventually got to email the shot to me. It has yet to arrive. Vodafone moves in mysterious ways, its blunders to perform. The last one he sent took three days to reach me. That’s close to the Italian postal level of service delivery. Or delivery service – I’m not sure which.

I was sad to see these two go, because with an artists’ agent and two writers in the house, you can have a lot of fun….as the shot below proves:

This list began on my onboard mainframe kitchen computer – aka a proper grown-up slate blackboard – whereupon for some time now (see top) I have been trying to remind myself to buy a new watch battery. Derivations of this were added over the days, until Watch Battery had morphed into Hilary Sutch. There is Much Hilarity to be had from Snatch Twattery, let me tell you.

Yesterday at The Slog: Barclay Twits in incompetent censorship drama