ATEOTD is quietly, slowly and I hope engagingly morphing into the Funny Side of Life….alongside the natural side of real life.

I am wondering tonight what the real gain from improved home insulation is. People keep telling me it’s the saving of energy, but we seem to be using more of it than ever. So I’ve been doing an informal study of some mates…and the result seems to be not saving energy, but rather fewer layers of clothing.

‘Improved insulation is producing more nudity at home, rather than lower levels of fossil fuel consumption’. Discuss in the context of contemporary OPEC oil price policies.

Rumours were reverberating through London today about the Queen’s alleged sexual liaisons with over-age miners. Buckingham Palace moved swiftly to Penge in order to deny the rumours from a safe distance. A statement released from prison by close friends of Max Clifford insisted that “these scurrilous inventions have no foundation whatsoever, and Her Majesty wishes to be clear about the utterly groundless nature of these accusations except those pertaining to perhaps a bit of a snog with Snelby the Groundsman after our 1981 Christmas Party which got ever so slightly out of hand”.

Speaking last night on a CNN surfboard just off the coast of Hawaii, former miners’ leader Arthur Scargill told drowning reporters that he was “glad that my ill-considered fling with Mrs Edinburgh has at last come to light and I’m going to spend, spend, spend”.

Reports are coming in of London Mayor Borisconi Johnsolini racing naked through the streets asking which idiot had cut police numbers in the light of expected widespread rioting by penniless Londoners during the long hot summer of 2015. The idiot having turned out to be the Mayor himself, Prime Minister Rancid Camembert said, “I’m sure the Mayor’s long-term strategy is sound, and if it is I’ll be right behind him because this just goes to show that our long-term economic plan is working”.

And finally, Facebook data suggests that a spike in marital break-ups starts two weeks prior to Christmas. In January, it seems, divorce filings go up 10%, and divorce inquiries spike 25%.

Here too, I have been conducting extensively intensive perspectives in relation to the expectations and implications associated with such intentions, and one formula explaining the explosion looks like this:

Desired gift of diamonds x actuality of Fulham FC season ticket

Suspicions of infidelity + boring conversation + pathetic bonus             = spiked filings