OOPS

Out there in the cold darkness of Planet Osborne, Britain is doing so well (says the Chancellor) “by 2030 we could be the richest economy in the world, with that prosperity widely shared – an aim I believe is firmly within our grasp.”

“The UK is leading in a very eloquent and convincing way in the European Union…..A few countries, only a few, are driving growth….in the UK, clearly growth is improving and unemployment is going down. Certainly from a global perspective this is exactly the sort of result that we would like to see….More growth, less unemployment, a growth that is more inclusive, that is better shared, and a growth that is also sustainable and more balanced.”

Apart from the fact growth has slowed of late, full time employment has been, along with hours worked, slashed, real wage levels have plummeted, the growth isn’t sustainable, the richesse isn’t inclusive at all – and it is more biased to banking than it was under Labour – she’s on the money there. The national debt is growing alarmingly, manufacturing as a share of gdp is now under 10%, and two of our banks are, effectively, insolvent: but being a tactful girl, Fifi Lagarde saw fit not to mention it.

She’s an idiot of course, always has been. But she’s head of the IMF. You know the IMF: that’s the mob that hasn’t got a single forecast right – fiscal or economic – since it began “helping” Greece four years ago. And talking of the disaster that Troika austerity has been down there in sunny south-eastern Europe, we can segue neatly into The Run that Dare not Speak its Name.

You may have thought Greece was as deep in the doodoo as it’s possible to be already, but you were wrong. The Athens government has what we business gurus call a slight cash-flow problem. That is, tax income has dropped by 80% over the last four months. Given that the leading Party Tsirisa says it will end austerity, cut taxes and renegotiate the Troika Trap until it’s something like manageable – and the obvious reality that Samaras had lost the one marble he ever had – it seems silly to the point of wasteful to pay old taxes if the new ones are going to be so much more affordable.

That shortfall has been exacerbated by Mario Draghi’s impeccably timed threat to pull the plug on Greek bank aid should any future government renege on its liabilities. In the light of that – and the likelihood of their cash being contributed to the bailins that would follow – pretty much the entire Greek population has withdrawn any cash it still had left in the banks. We mustn’t talk about it of course – and indeed, no MSM title is: but Zero Hedge is happy to write about it; and a few calls to Athens this morning fully bear out ZH’s claim: at least three Greek banks have applied for Emergency Liquidity Assistance, or ELA. Definitely not spelt “Hellas”.

Using the analogy of ‘signs leading to Crash2’ is no longer valid: ‘This way to the Earthquake’ is old news, especially when huge cracks are snaking their way across and along the road. Key events just in the last 24 hours have included:

* A 30% rise in the Swissy, after the Gnomes finally lost all hope for the euro…which, at 1.16 to the Buck, is speeding along towards parity with it….and at 1.30 to the Pound has jumped 1.5p in twelve hours.

* Gold is yo-yoing around at the $1.60 level. That gives the central banks a big, big problem.

* The Dow fell 106 points to 17,321, and the Standard & Poor’s 500 index closed below 2000 for the first time since December 16th. The Dow has now fallen five days in a row….it has lost more value since mid December than it did in the whole of 2014.

* Putin’s decision to route his oil via Turkey not Ukraine….a major problem for the EU.

The last thing the MoUs need at the moment is Left-field curved balls covered in butter. But life’s like that. Ramifications will follow.

Last night at The Slog: An Edwardian lady’s annual night on the tiles