After intensive research this afternoon, The Slogger established that the election date is nobody’s responsibility as yet – as such.

Having spotted over the last few weeks that the political runners, along with John Terry’s underpants, are off, I hit the phone today in search of when all the posturing might be over so we can vote or abstain about the result.

The Number Ten press office intoned solemnly that this was a political matter and they commented only on what Gordon Brown did as the head of government. Tempted to observe that they must therefore have an easy job, instead I said, “As the choice of election date is inscribed in the constitution as the responsibility of the Prime Minister, it is your responsibility to comment on it.”

“No” said the Scottish gentleman at the other end, “that’s a matter for the Labour Party”.

It isn’t actually, but I rang them anyway…having first of all got an official confirmation from the Ten Duty Officer that the election date was nothing to do with the Prime Minister.

“That’s a matter for Number Ten” the Scottish New Labour gentleman on duty at Brown HQ said.

As an Englishman, I find these days it’s very easy to begin imagining that everyone to do with government is Scottish. But mainly the impression one gets dealing with these people is that they’d really rather we all went away so they could get on with, well, whatever it is they do.

Anyway, I asked if he could officially confirm that the date was nothing to do with the Labour Party, and he said of course I could.

So there we are: nuffink to do wiv any of us, squire.

I thought the Establishment’s ability to have power and evade responsibility had reached its nadir at Chilcot. Obviously, I was wrong.

If anyone fancies ringing in to Number Ten with suggestions for a date, the number to call is 0207 270 3000.