Happy Downing St staff going about their democratic duties.

Epetitions are things you can cast into the open-all-hours Number Ten website space, and then (having wasted your time filling them in) eat your heart out waiting for a reply of any substance or use whatsoever. For an old and ugly cynic like me, this sort of thing goes beyond spin, but what is a good-hearted chap to do? Some well-meaning folks contacted me on a subject dear to my heart last year (ISP liars) and so it seemed churlish not to sign.

The electronic message in a bottle tossed into the Sea of Futility read as follows:

‘We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to prevent private companies profiling users’ internet stream from within ISPs.’

Number Ten’s response is priceless. The whole thing would be tedious for the neutral observer, but these highlights say it all:

‘The Government is committed to ensuring that network integrity and people’s privacy is being fully protected when their data is being passed across these networks’.

Must be why you’ve just paid them £8.3 billion to install GCHQ monitoring software for you, then. The response continues:

‘The Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO) has looked at this type of technology…’

(Spot the Quango)

‘….and as the ICO is an independent body, it would not be appropriate for the Government to anticipate its decisions.’

The Government is thus so committed to network integrity, responsibility (and blame) for its monitoring has been passed elsewhere. With this kind of government commitment, who needs feckless government?