Slog in makeover sensation horror.

Welcome to the new site layout. I thought it might give the site a slightly more serious air, but then the news intervened to foil that plan. Today’s big stories so far include:

In Florida’s Everglades national park, a Burmese python tried to swallow an alligator whole, but exploded in the attempt. Witnesses said they heard a clock ticking in the gator, which did not survive the blast. A Capt. Hook has been detained for further questionning.

On the 40th anniversary of the founding of the Gay Liberation Front, up to one million people are expected at London’s annual Pride celebrations. Next year, the event will be shared with homophobics, and renamed Pride & Prejudice.

Paris Hilton was arrested by South African police during the Brazil v Holland game at the World Cup. A spokesman for Ms Hilton told reporters afterwards, “It is all a big mistake, somebody else in the group did it”. If I can get hold of some stuff, I hope to be doing it later too.

The Daily Beast yesterday told its readers that US President Barack Obama ‘should get his base excited again, and start hitting the Republicans with a crazy stick’. Others think he should also hire Keith Richards on lead, and buy a better amp.

Normal service will be resumed as seriously as possible.