Crime Maps: Pure New Labour bollocks from the Coalition

The new Home Office gimmick insults our intelligence 

Theresa May….’aving a larf

Today sees the launch of online Crime Maps by the Home Office, an idea designed to empower ordinary citizens unconvinced by the UK crime statistics, and thus place pressure upon their local police force.

The stats for the map will still be supplied by the Home Office – who will in turn have been fed the stats by….the local police force. It will show which streets have high crime rates, and how many times the local Community Service miscreants broke into the Off Licence. And apart from adversely affecting some house prices already about to crash through the floor, the idea will produce no change in the ability of police to detect, apprehend or prosecute criminals.

Cast your minds back to 2005, when New Labour’s desperate Health Minister Alan Johnson decided to get tough on Alzheimers by producing….a map of where it occurred most frequently. That was followed by Memory Clinics – those places where a catatonic corpse stood every chance of being declared fit and well. But what we never got was an end to medication rationing.

That was bollocks then, and crime maps are bollocks now.

It doesn’t empower anyone to do anything, it doesn’t put any more officers on the case, it’s after-the-event data for the tabloids to get wrong on a weekly basis – and the auditors are those same boys in blue who have been caught cheating  more often than Katie Price’s blokes.

I went to the site an hour ago, and typed in our postcode. The little wheel whirred round for forty minutes, and then took me to an empty page. But the little info spot in the bottom left-hand corner said ‘Done’.

Yes indeed: problem solved, job done – sorted guv.

Remember: the same clowns who have these bright ideas are up against the banks, the TUC, most of the teachers, radical Islam, booming foreign-made goods, the deficit, and the nasty folks in Brussels and Bankfurt.

We have no chance.