SKETCH: How Newscorp’s daring compound-raid will assassinate Dominic Strauss-Kahn.

Murdoch’s Francophobia and anti-Semitism are becoming funny. But behind the news, there is a serious Christine Lagarde dimension to the DSK case.

Following a five-day stakeout of the mystery compound in a sleepy suburb of Manhattan, President Murdoch is satisfied  that the occupant is none other than international Rape Beast, Domino Sex K’ahnt. Also in the domicile are understood to be at least one of his women, three eunuch cooks, two mail maids, and a lousy tipper. The intelligence op, led by NY Post seals, has been supported by three battalions of banner headlines. “The President sees this as a holding operation,” said Fox News privacy campaigner Roger Ailes, “until we can bring in the full shock and awe of our crack Newscorpers when the trial starts in two weeks time”.

It’s hard to see where the tabloids can go next on this one. This evening GMT the Mail ran a piece that one of DSK’s more distant political allies Jack Lang, the former Socialist culture and education secretary, was ‘linked to’ a paedophile attack. Obviously, kid-shagging being highly infectious, the Mail felt itself duty bound to run the piece. The flaws in the connection are that it’s an allegation made by one political opponent, it took place in North Africa, and it happened a long time ago. Still, as the bigshot Frog flies, Morocco is quote close to Guinea really.

But the Digger’s Post found a better link yesterday, headlining what could be the start of a maid-raping pandemic in the Apple: an Egyptian businessman had tried his luck with a maid at The Pierre. Those of us who swan in and out of swanky New York billets like other folks change their socks know this is only a few blocks down from the Sofitel, so Fear Stalks Top Hotel Corridors tonight. Truth be told, there is a new angle on this, in that the alleged perpetrator is Islamic. If the victim is Jewish, we could soon have a religious war on our hands.

The Telegraph is working hard on the now near-inevitable sanctification of rape-accuser Nafissatou Diallo. I know, I know – it is extremely gratuitous to describe her like that, but I’m trying to restore some balance here. The Telegraph piece (written by a consortium of ladies, none of whom can write) had some odd phraseology and unusual quote syntax in it – including yet another classic from Diallo’s ‘brother’ Mamoudou, “We are still stunned since we heard what happened to our sister. I have not eaten and slept since I heard on the radio that my sister is in trouble with that important personality, Dominique Strauss-Kahn.” So tell me Mamoudou, what first attracted your sister to important personality Dominic Strauss-Kahn? And by the way son, it happened two weeks ago – so shape up or pretty soon you’re going to be manically dead. Then you won’t be able to give 24/7 press interviews any more, Mamoudou. Am I right?

Once again, there was a lot of ‘pious’, ‘quiet’, and ‘we have chosen not to publish her name’. Why not, girls? As the sex beast is now safely pinned down by Murdoch’s shock-troops in his scruffy 7-bedroom lair, shouldn’t she be examined too – or does being ‘important’ obviate that as a possibility?

Still, it’s good that at long last, somebody has come to DSK’s aid to insist that he “isn’t a drooling dog”. This may be damning the guy with praise so faint, the prosecution could use it to question his species – and things don’t get any better when the witness is revealed to be Italian porn star Natashi Kiss, with whom Strauss-Kahn had sex last year in a Paris bordello. Her real name is Michelle Conti, and as a hooker you can sort of see why she doesn’t use it.

Yet oddly, I think this (and other hooker evidence I’ve read, God this case is such a chore) should be used in Court. I doubt if even Brafman the Bastard has the balls to do that, but what comes out of these accounts is that, at core, DSK is an old-fashioned, upmarket French misogynist who thinks droit de seigneur is still his to enjoy.

This probably explains why the guy can proposition 37 women between getting on a plane, and putting his clothes away in the hotel at the other end. But in this sense, he is no different to a University chum of mine who would stand outside Students’ Union dances of a Saturday night, saying to every single woman going in, “Tonight, I can give you the f**k of your life”. Considering he was a fairly unprepossessing bloke, I was constantly amazed at how many beautiful women he had on his arm over the three years I knew him. My hunch was that the product lived up to the advertising proposition, although I could be wrong. He’s on Facebook, and has seven grandchildren with no divorces. This is scarey news for feminist sociologists everywhere.

What doesn’t come through from DSK’s willing sex partners is the idea of a sex-beast rapist. When it comes to lunging and bra-ripping, there’s no doubt that he has a shaky past, and needs his head sorting out bigtime: and if he did this crime, then a spell in the pokey wouldn’t do him any harm at all. But a fair trial is also his by right, and a charge of attempted rape doesn’t warrant 93 years in Sing-Sing – especially as all rape is rape……if I’m to understand the drivel spouted on the  subject in the UK over the last fortnight correctly.

I must now offer an apology to Sloggers everywhere, in that last night I promised a serious piece on the jiggery-pokery that may well lie behind the Strauss-Kahn arrest. Well, investigative commentary is a mercurial mistress – and I have still to stand bits of it up. But as of an hour ago (20:45 GMT) things are looking good. So – and I promise I’m not pr**k teasing here – a little taster will I hope keep you interested in this quite extraordinary saga.

Christine Lagarde has been busy the last two days on the stump for support among the South American Brics. She is doing this with the active support of one Gustavo Arnavat, the United States representative on the Executive Board of the Inter-American Development Bank (IADB). Arnavat is a close ally of the Fed’s Tim Geithner….and an old friend of Barack Obama. Arnavat is also in turn close to a Frenchman, advising the Fed in residence.

His name is Marc-Olivier Strauss-Kahn, and he has an elder brother called Dominic. Cain and Abel, eat your hearts out.