CRASH 2: Doing everything necessary to look as if we reached agreement

The wind of strange is blowing through Europe

Angela Merkel and Nicolas Sarkozy are determined to do ‘everything necessary’ to increase the capital structure of the eurozone’s banks. They debated long and hard about whether to say ‘whatever it takes’, but plumped in the end for ‘everything necessary’. Other close runners for top post-Summit soundbite included ‘anything at all’ and ‘nothing whatsoever’, but diplomats close to the couple said that ‘everything necessary’ won out for its “strong suggestion that we’ll all be making an effort, as opposed to going round in circles, and then making empty announcements to the media afterwards”.

It was obviously a good session, because having gone in agreeing about nothing, they duo came out agreeing about everything. Especially ‘everything necessary’. Thus, they were at one about being ‘fully aware of their responsibilities for stability of the euro’, although M. Trichet of the EU Central Bank says there is nothing at all wrong with the euro. The two countries also ‘shared similar views on increasing the capital structure of banks’, and ‘reached an agreement on the question of recapitalisation’. Presumably, by this they meant ‘we agree that the banks need more money’.

IABATO applies, I’m afraid: It’s All Bollocks, And That’s Official.

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