News Ketchup

At the Slog’s Tesco Twitter page (where the membership has crept up to 55 now) there are those usual recommendations about who else you should ‘follow’. I assume the Twitts think I’m following Tesco; but what intrigues me is that their No 1 person for me to follow every day now is Piers Morgan. I suspect the train of thought is, ‘He’s following a bunch of wide cowboys, so here’s another one for him’. Made me smile anyway.

Mr and Mrs Slog’s hearing is not what it was: “Have you got Tiggy there?” was a question I directed at the missus the other day, which she heard as “Have you got tickly hair?” Best one so far though was me hearing ‘Sunnyside Cottage’ on a property programme as Sunny Psychotic.

It would be the perfect name for a niche-appeal pub: The Sunny Psychotic. You walk in and everyone’s giggling like Richard Widmark in one of his early roles. At the bar, the barman smiles as he slips strychnine into the drinks, while the regulars have a Tuesday Quiz Night entitled Murder.

Or it might be a smashing title for a biography: you know – like ‘The Happy Hooker’, here’s the lowdown on Bob Diamond, The Sunny Psychotic. It could run and run: Fred Goodwin, the Deaf Tourettes; Wayne Rooney, I was a teenage foot transplant.

Talking of people with brains in their feet, looking at the latest Poll research earlier today, I noticed that Populus is still asking respondents whether they could ‘ever imagine’ Ed Miliband as Prime Minister. Before Ed relaunched himself last week, two-thirds said no, they couldn’t see him as a PM. Now 7 out of ten say that.The Ed Miller Band’s popularity slide continues, although to be fair it started out as unpopular, and is now on its way to unimaginable. Soon the bottom – unelectable – will have been reached. Then, I suspect, the Labour fluffies will have to develop a harder edge to their treatment of sad leaders…or risk becoming a laughing stock.

I wonder what the figure is for, say, Diane Abbott – 140%?

Anna Van Heeswijk of the feminist group Object has been giving evidence to the Leveson Enquiry, during which she suggested that newspapers should abide by the TV watershed rules on lewd images of women. As she said this, the camera cut to the face of a lawyer clearly wondering if she might be mad. But it soon became clear that she meant morning papers should assume children are reading – in the same way that they’re watching at 8.00pm in the evening.

The truth, I’m afraid, is that the same is true of most tabloids….in the sense that they are all guilty of the same hypocrisy. The Daily Fail is a great one for doing the who oh why oh why thing about public morals, and then offering four free tickets to a Pole Dancing Club on Page One. My favourite for the Dacre Mail came seven years ago, when it spent six centre pages railing against materialism, while on the front page was ‘Win a Bentley with Champagne for Life’.

And finally, you have to be amused by the decision of Arianna Huffington to appoint Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s wife Anne Sinclair as Editor of the French edition. Presumably, the Huffpost owner felt this was the easiest way for Anne to keep abreast of what DSK was up to.