GREEN BELT: It’s all Boleocks, and that’s official

Build on boring fields, says Minister

boleockspt

Build on Minister, says Slog

Key to Nick Boles: 1, personal cloud to hide cuckoos 2, Blind eye for ignoring Cameron fibs 3, anti-citizen earplugs, 4, troughing snout 5, standard-issue brass neck specially reinforced to Hunt Grade I

British governance gets more like Tom Sharpe in his heyday every minute. If I can put into words what Blot on the Landscape Planning Minister Nick Boles (above) wrote in a letter to Anna Soubry earlier this week:

“Now pay attention proles, due to silly policies of mass immigration over the last 20 years – and the fact that the building industry gave us 3.5 million quid so we could not quite win the election – we’ve decided to designate some fields as totally boring, even though we are just days away from having any food left here in the UK. Then we can build on those fields, and f**k up your environment even more because we aren’t listening to you about sufficiency, immigration or the EU fascists.  Next week, we shall be stealing your bank deposits in order to pay for this neocon economic system that doesn’t work but we like it so there and the City pays us even more than Wimpeys, Ithangyoooo.”

Ms Soubry is batting for the same side as Adrian Boles aged 13 and a quarter, by the way: she is a Conservative health minister who wrote to his department to warn that housing is being built on the Green Belt despite David Cameron’s “repeated assurances” it will be protected. You don’t mean Dave lied his head off about something do you? Dear God, is nothing sacred?

It was, in a way, the fitting end to a perfect week of media blind eyes, Establishment fumbling, and Finance Minister theft. The EU gave Il Draghi all the power with zero accountability, Osborne told a supine Mansion House audience to expect depositor haircuts from now on, Germany moved the goalposts on Karlsrühe rulings, gold was manipulated down by 70 bucks, another banking scandal emerged from the bubbling cess pit formerly known as The City, a relatively harmless teacher got five years for eloping with a student while a kiddy-porn addict teacher got reinstated by Michael Gove, and the CoOp mess was shown to be 100% the fault of grubby politicians trying to save their ‘careers’.

The mainstream media of the UK either missed them entirely, analysed them superficially, or was left 3-5 days behind the music. But most appalling of all, they failed to do their job as the Fourth Estate explaining to the citzenry how and why they are being screwed up the arse…and that’s before they even get to our children.

But why do we need some London-bubble hack to wake us up?

We are far, far too placid in this country. And – if you’ll pardon the expression – placid is only an f and a c away from flaccid.

Earlier at The Slog: All Hail Mario, Caesar of the Western Empire