At the End of the Day

Once again I’m indebted to Robert Chewter for highlighting this excerpt from G4S’s alleged Care Home ‘credentials’. It’s a crackerjack this one, plum-full of grammatical howlers and half-baked bollocks:

“We aim to provide non-institutional therapeutic living environments (clapped out old houses?) where (sub-contracted?) (former catering) staff work with young people to enable them to develop inner controls, respect for self and others and take responsibility for their actions. Our staff not only aim to meet the development needs of young people but, through the use of individual assessment, support, guidance and opportunities (sic) can begin to explore and address their individual needs with a comprehensive (as opposed to flimsy) care plan.
Our considerably (sic) and highly regarded experience of children’s services offers local authorities, social workers and youth offending teams a safe and immediate solution when seeking to accommodate children and young people whose personal circumstances or behaviour may make them difficult to place. The protection of young people in our care is of uppermost (sic) importance.”

It is, I’m sure you’ve noticed, utterly cynical gobble-de-gook bullshit from start to finish. Don’t forget that this corporate cowboy outfit overpromised on the Olympics, overcharged on every job since, and yet still seems to be in the running for new NHS business. But nobody seems to give a monkeys, do they? All too busy carrying megaphones and placards and chanting braindead slogans. Isn’t it about time the Left learned to start digging, investigating, and then accusing, parodying, and satirising?

Well, while we’re waiting for a strategy alternative, revelations, or a killer PMQs punch from Ed Miliband, here is an imaginary spin-release from I G Farben in 1943 on the efficacious applications of Xylon B:

“We aim to provide short-term therapeutic life-ending environments where highly-trained staff work with valued religious minorities to enable them to develop respect for self and others by taking regular showers. Our staff not only aim to meet the development needs of useful workers but, through the use of individual support, guidance and opportunities, encourage them to explore and address their individual needs with a comprehensive shower cleanliness plan.
Our considerable and highly rewarded experience of children’s services offers local Gauleiters, social cleansers and racial purity teams a safe and immediate solution when seeking to persuade children and young people whose personal circumstances or behaviour may make them difficult to place to stay in the queue. Providing final solutions to young people in our care is of uppermost importance.”

You see, string a few cliches together, and you can make mass-murder sound like highly-skilled and benignly sensitive treatment of a hitherto intractable social problem. As opposed to what G4S will do, which is stuff dysfunctional kids into hastily converted houses, feed them badly cooked sh*t, and pay zero attention to their real problems. (See Government Report on atrocious management of HM Prisons since they started doing that lark.

There are three massive flaws in the Resistance to this brazen acceptance of profiteering mendacity. First, the Parliamentary Labour leadership doesn’t seem to be tuned in to the People’s Wavelength; second, the Left continues to sniffily set itself apart from the broader spectrum of opposition; and third, the desperate abstainers aren’t being engaged.

Demonstrations, placards and repeated slogans may bring forth a warm feeling in the trousers. But such things have rarely, if ever, achieved anything. What’s required now is a concerted campaign of engagement to bring those outside Labour – and outside regular voting – to the party. Labour needs a new leadership, a new willingness to be inclusive, and a better understanding of the way opinion is influenced. It needs a new radicalism, and an end to old slogans. Above all, it needs some brave and accessible policies to offer the electorate in 2015.