Oh look, Lloyds just lost £330m. Or rather, we did.

And the hole in the balance sheet is £600m unfilled.

Half an hour ago, Lloyds signed a deal to sell Heidelberger Leben, its German life insurance business, for £256m to Hannover Re and Cinven, the German insurer and the private equity firm.

Reports two years ago – largely put out by the Treasury and the Draper – suggested a potential value of €1bn, but of course none of us believed that. The rump of Alistair Darling’s genius merger between HBOS the Hbomb and Lloyds is a mess, with a terrible loan book. (They just offloaded that to Goldman Sachs for, um, not very much: doubtless Lloyd Bankfine is slicing it up into derivatives as I type).

Lloyds has been under pressure to sell its international operations and boost its balance sheet, because it is a crock of doo-doo. The bank said the disposal would lead to a loss of £330m on the original investment, and that it would boost its tier 1 capital by around £400m.

Which as the mathematicians know only too well, is 60% short of Osborne’s confident prediction.

I wonder what Ed Miliband will do with this at PMQs today. Nothing? Yes, I suspect you’re probably right. It looks more like PMTs than PMQs these days.

And we didn’t even get to RBS yet. Siren chaps….four-minute warning….quick, into the bunker….

Yesterday at The Slog: An Energy policy based on hot air