It’s been a day longer than most for me today. I’ve been a researching, dental-care-searching, politico besmirching and wannabe George Osborne birching sort of bloke between the hours of 6.00 am and 7.00 pm. But the astonishing awfulness of the macro-bollocks inserts itself upon my frail form well beyond normal office hours.

For example, the United States Federal Reserve still under the control of Ben Bernanke now owns – pause for breath here – almost exactly one third of the US Bond Market. To clear up any confusion re this one, Washington now owns 33% of the bonds it issued to peole (who are worryingly often not American) still willing to offer America their hard-earned money in return for a yield on the loan.

Don’t get it? I don’t blame you, but let me try one last vain attempt to make any sense out of this. 1 in 3 of all debt bonds issued by the obscenely indebted United States Government is now owned by…..absurdly, that very same indebted United States Government.

Or put another way, America is paying itself interest on every third dollar it owes to other people. This is how and why President Obama can claim that the sovereign deficit is just fine really, because his acolytes and accomplices in this numbers racket count the debt income as part of US gdp.

Burblee-boobly-bingly-bongley-deeply-madly-desperately-insanely-crackers aaaahahahahahahaaagh.

But setting aside that obvious illogic, there is just one double-your-money flaw in Barry’s maths: the number of those expecting a payback is still twice that of his ability to buy his own debt in order to make the debt credible. If you follow.

Depressingly, one doesn’t have to look far to find equally deranged arrangements. For example, Britain’s housebuilding sector has come out “all guns blazing” to post the strongest rise in activity for a decade….according to the Maily Torygraph – in the shape of its delphic correspondent Szu Ping Chan. Chan tells us that ‘Housebuilding in November rose at the strongest pace since 2003, according to Markit, as rising confidence and improving credit conditions helped to boost activity across the sector’. Except, of course, that those reckless builders still need to find enough mugs people to buy their entirely speculatively built ticky-tacky. And if you lack the confidence to borrow, who GsAF what the rate is?

You can’t export houses. And every house built on our green and pleasant land removes yet another half acre of land upon which food could be grown. Hence my use of the term ‘deranged arrangements’.

If the US prints enough new Dollar bills – and purchases enough toxic crap from its banks – one day in the not too distant future it will be entirely in debt to itself. And if Britain keeps on building houses to keep people warm and dry and fed upon imported foods, one day not far away in that same future, we will be entirely in hock to those who own our industries and grow the things we have to import to eat.

I’m at a loss to grasp what’s wrong with this analysis. Even if I’m up to 20% wrong here, it feels to me like there is going to be a Valley of Tears.

Sleep tight.

Earlier at The Slog: Contemporary news in predictability shocker