Homo sapiens: the final verdict

Would you buy a used car from….


Would you hit an iceberg and then drill holes….


Would you go to war on an empty chest….


Can  you tell a leg from a loony….


So it isn’t just me then: Dali’s ghost stalks the Earth.

There is in all this, however, a golden opportunity for the first intelligent newspaper to launch the 2013 version of the much loved and lamented Spot the Ball competition that once graced our sports pages in those far-off days of wooden stubs, dubbin, ball-laces and mud.

Spot the Crook, Spot the Flaw, Spot the Kamikaze…but best of all, Spot the Difference.

I mean, FFS: a leg being confused with a person? A person consists of six extremities and a trunk; a false leg consists of one false leg.

Spot the Life-Threatening Toxic Leak, Spot the Euro Achilles Heel, Spot the Lying Chancellor, Spot Dan Hannan’s Commercial Nous…..this series could run and run.

But not if it’s a prosthetic leg. No, not at all.

Oh for a live Peter Cook…

“Now take your right leg. The minute I saw it I thought, that’s a helluva right leg. I thought, that’s a great leg for the part. I’ve got nothing against your right leg. The trouble is, neither have you…”