Morgan…becoming a bit spikey on subject of phone-hacking
Fired by Trinity, chastened by Leveson and dumped by CNN, man of many parts Porg Miarse was in many pieces last night, as he broke down in front of startled passers by and admitted that he had hacked Paul McCartney’s phone by accident while posing for a Selfie with the former Beatle who left the band to grow Wings and collect wives.
“This seems to me like a reasonable explanation and I think we should accept it at just below face value,” commented Deputy Met Commissioner for Oaths Mark Willyleak-Tommyrot.
But other show business stars were less gracious. “Ah have primadonna evidence that he hacked me farts, pet” alleged Heather Mills-Bomb, “‘e’s just a little waster an ah want more munnneeee for me babby”.
And ageing starlet Amanda Holden declared that “this swine fracked my hamster and I died for nearly forty seconds from shock. I was going to go to the police but I forgot all about it and then I had a baby.”
In a longer statement given to police at Scotland Yard later, a Mr Semi Pornrag told detectives that he had no idea what a mobile phone was, and he may have played somebody singing on a voicemail at a Party once but he couldn’t be sure as he went to a party almost every day so how on earth could he be expected to remember”.
Commenting from her heavily guarded eyrie atop Newscorp house in Worrabummar Queensland, Mrs Barack O’Fucks said, “Piers trained me and as I never hacked phones either it’s obvious he didn’t too. What I mean is, he never said anything about mobile phone hacking to me just like Andy didn’t not even when we were at it and Piers didn’t either. What I mean is….”
The Slog 