At the End of the Day

Following the successful mission to eliminate the deadly, tightly-knit Alkidah organisation run by Osama Bin Laden, we Sloggers face today a new global terrorist in the shape of Obama Joe Biden. The barbaric, insuperable swine this afternoon issued a direct challenge to the Great Contrarian Satan:

“Behold, you – yes you, arrogant Vladimir Tsipras-Orban – force me and my many followers to take upon ourselves an mighty Crusade against those who would defile our creator Theodore Friedman. One by one, our serial decapitations of Russian economy, Greek democracy, Iranian currency and Malaysian airline passengers have held you, the impotent moral derelicts of the Middle East, in shokanawe of our one true messenger here on Earth, Mammondollar….except of course for the Saudi Royal Beheading Alliance, of whose spectacular wealth and limb-removal we too are in shokanawe, Mammon aq-bah!

“You cannot win infidels, for even as we dynamite our one-time allies the Shibboleths, Sunnis, Hindis, Buddhists, Shiites, Hittites, Stalactites, Trilobytes, Plebiscites, Socialites, Satellites, meteorites, and Alawhites – while inciting many rewrites, parasites, websites, gobshites and ancient rites – we will keep shifting our campsites until the ends of eternity, such that nothing will ever be clearly the Truth in black and whites.”Having looked at the situation in great depth with my military leaders, intelligence officers and spin doctors here at Slogger’s Roost GHQ, I fear I have no alternative but to order an airborne strike against Obama Joe Biden’s fanatical followers in Boston, New York, Washington and Beverley Hills.
Earlier at The Slog: Has EU egopolitical imperialism done for France?