Parliamo Lyla: the infant sector perspective on global reality.

Uh-oooh : I think I may have gone too far this time

row-row-row-row-row-row-row-eam: Row row row the boat gently down the stream

bibee: baby

aa-oo: thank you

lalest: I shall take my breakfast now

eeez: please

lalest eeez: never heard as yet, but we’re working on it

eepee: time for bed, I think

What a fine thing grandchildren are. And how marvelous to have the option of handing them back. Still, if nothing else they do root one’s feet firmly back to the ground. And it is very, very nice to wake up to patient Dad dealing with naughty Lyla downstairs in the kitchen. Uh-ooh.

You’ll never guess, but the Office for National Statistics has announced that it thinks there are “frailties” behind the UK’s economic growth data. Well ping my blog. I discussed the finding with Lyla this morning, and she gave me a look that said, “What else is new, Sherlock?” Solid proof that a two year-old can work out what most analysts can’t.

Denial continues, and yes it really is on a global scale: Zeng Peiyan, chairman of the China Centre for International Economic Exchanges, had this to say at a forum three days ago:

“The [Chinese] middle-income group will be the main force to stabilise domestic demand. As the group is expanding, 600 million people will be middle-income by 2020. Total consumption is expected to be tripled by then compared with that in 2010….

The combination of a gradual improvement in global demand, a relatively sluggish domestic economy and declining global commodity prices has largely widened China’s current account surplus, which has put additional upward pressure on the currency since June…..”

The point of this little fantasy was to suggest that the Beijing Government would be a net exporter of capital from now on, buying a lot of stuff abroad, and thus helping to,um, get the West (which already owes it a mountain of money) back on its feet from the current balancing using head upon small rock positioning.

So having lent Europe and the US trillions already to keep doing everything wrong, China will now plough in the investment that neoliberals eschew, on the grounds of it getting in the way of their bonuses. This will ensure the healthy production of another generation of consumobots, and thus keep everything on an even keel.

There are just two leaps of faith in the analysis: ‘a gradual improvement in global demand’ (of which there is no sign) and ‘600 million people will be middle-income by 2020’ (which depends on the first leap, which doesn’t exist).

There are no lengths the smart folks won’t measure in order to prove that dead really means alive.

Still, it’s Christmas Eve and things need stuffing.