At the End of the Day

I’ve heard David Cameron described as many things, but this one from today’s Guardian took even me by surprise:

‘Rolling coverage of all the day’s political developments as they happen, including David Cameron’

Pay attention: the Prime Minister is now a political development, and so we’re going over live to Toby Ornott-Abeigher in Downing Street in order to see Mr Cameron developing the ability to get out of his limo unassisted. What do you make of it so far Toby?

“Well, yes…I think we can definitely mark the sprightly confidence of his step from the official car there as evidence of a political development in his favour”.

Thanks, but er, what do you think that development might be?

“It’s hard to say at this moment in time, but he’s clearly looking in fine form here”.

From here, lt’s a move to there, and the news that two top HSBC bosses have apologised for “unacceptable” practices at their Swiss private bank. The more senior of these two bods Flint said he “felt shame” and would “take his share of responsibility” for Swiss private bank failings.

But he wished immediately to dilute his responsibiilty and dump bigtime on his employees.When asked by MPs who was most responsible for the problems in HSBC’s Swiss private bank, Flint said: “The individuals most accountable for the data theft and the behaviour that was unacceptable to our standards were the management in Switzerland….most culpable were the relationship managers [in the Swiss private bank].”

On the contemporary Planet Earth, even the most risible disloyalty passes for ‘taking responsibility’. As George Washington didn’t say, “I cannot tell a lie: a big boy chopped down the tree and then ran away”. Greater cowardice hath no man than he lay down his employees for his life.

And finally, let us return to that bastion of Truth…a commodity as seen through the prism of Paul Dacre, the editor of the Daily Mail. Attempting to suggest an unparalleled run on NHS services, his organ ran this absurd ‘evidence’ yesterday:

‘New figures published today by the Health and Social Care Information Centre reveal NHS hospitals in England dealt with 15.5 million admissions in 2013-14. That figure equates to 42,400 patients being admitted each day – 870 more on average than the previous year.’

Or expressed another way, 0.05%: five patients in every thousand.

I’m not waving a flag for Jeremy *unt here, Merely hitting Dacre over the head with his salute-seeking flagpole,

Sleep tight: see you all tomorrow.